This Heart Of Mine
by Sara2117
Summary: Loosely based off the movie 'The Duff' Felicity Smoak was a nerd...deep down she knew that of course but having two of the hottest friends in school kind of shielded her from that fact. It wasn't until the boy next door, the boy she had known her whole life told her the truth that everything changed...now she had to decide if it was for the better...or worse.
1. i Am

Felicity Smoak was a nerd...deep down she knew that of course but having two of the hottest friends in school kind of shielded her from that fact. She wore baggy clothes, dark eyeliner and her hair was dyed a raven black despite her natural color being more of an ashy blonde. It wasn't that she didn't put any effort into her appearance it was just that she didn't think it would be of any use if she did. Sara and Thea had often tried to trick her into a makeover but she was smarter than that and always managed to weasel her way out of it by telling her friends that they didn't like her the way she was. They would automatically back off and tell her they loved her and only wanted to help make her feel more confident. She would reply that she was plenty confident.

That was a lie mostly. She knew she was smart, if her having one of the highest IQ in the school was any indication, she made straight A's in every class, she had...friends, only two of them but they were her best friends, she was a writer for the school paper and she had had boyfriends. Okay...one boyfriend in sixth grade and all they had ever done was hold hands. She didn't share that bit of information openly. Point was, she had a life and everything was going great. Well that's what she thought until she walked into school that morning and straight into Laurel Lance. Her day went steadily downhill after that.

"Ladies," Laurel sung as she approached them, flanked by her 'minions' as Felicity called them, Helena and Mckenna.

She ground her teeth together and clutched her books closer to her chest before glancing at Sara to find her rolling her eyes. Thea had a smile plastered on her face. Though she wasn't Laurel's biggest fan, she knew better than to go against her. Laurel threw the best parties at the school and had the power to make your life miserable if you stepped on her toes.

Felicity didn't hate Laurel. No, she didn't hate anyone. But what she felt for her wasn't exactly pleasant. Gorgeous Laurel, the girl every single boy in high school wanted so bad they practically tripped over themselves to get a glimpse of her as she walked by. Her makeup was always flawless, her nails manicured, her brunette hair always curled into soft perfect waves that in all the years Felicity had known her had never been out of place. As if all that wasn't enough Laurel was tall and skinny but had a figure to kill for...it made her think twice about eating the box of cookies in her locker.

"I'm having a party at my place and I would love if you could attend," Laurel said with a flourish, tossing those darn perfect curls over her shoulder. She snapped her fingers, her nails a bright blue towards one of her minions who hurriedly handed Sara and Thea a pink envelope.

Sara glanced down at the card in her hand. "I live with you Laurel. Was this really necessary?" she asked as she held up the paper.

"It's cute that you think you could get into the party without a invite."

"I'm your sister," Sara replied, her knuckled popping as she clenched her fist.

"Oh I know, it's kinda hard to forget." Helena and Mckenna snickered.

Sara lunged and Thea pulled her back. Once she had her calmed down she opened her envelope.

"Pretty script," Thea said smoothly and Laurel smiled.

Felicity glanced over Thea's shoulder. "A party on a Wednesday? It's a school night," she wondered aloud.

"Yes Fefe, I can do that. Perks of being popular," Laurel boasted.

"It's Felicity actually," she corrected.

"Tomatoes, tomatoes. Anywho make sure you two RSVP."

"Wait, you two? What about Felicity?" Sara asked, her fist still clenched but now hidden behind her back.

"Oh I'm sorry, I have a limited amount of invitations, If anything changes, I'll let you know," Laurel finished, her voice low a sick kind of smugness coloring her tone.

She heard a ripping sound and turned to Thea who then proceeded to hand her half of her invite.

"Problem solved." Thea declared with a equally smug smile.

"Wonderful," Laurel answered tightly, fake smile in place so strained it was practically a grimace. A moment later she swept back down the hall with her goons, probably off to humiliate and terrorize some other students.

She let out the breath she had been hold once she was gone. "How is that your sister?" She finally asked of Sara.

"I have no idea. I'm still clinging to the hope that I'm adopted," she replied as they started towards their next class.

"Maybe you were dropped on their doorstep," Thea jested.

"Or Mama Lance could have had a fling with the pool boy." Felicity interjected and Sara glanced at her with a furrowed brow. "That came out wrong," she jumped to apologize before Sara put her hand up.

"Don't worry about it, besides it could be true, it would explain a lot."

"Your pool boy was kinda hot."

Her and Sara's heads both snapped to Thea who was blushing fiercely. They stared at her a moment before they both burst into laughter. Eventually Thea chimed in too.

They were all still laughing as they strode down the hall when a door opened slamming straight into her, scattering her books across the floor and sending her falling backwards.

"I'm sorry," the boy said as he started to pick up her books.

"It's okay," she assured him. "It was just an accide-" She abruptly cut off as she looked up. Her mouth went dry and her tongue automatically stuck to the roof of her mouth. Her heart beat double time in her chest. Oh no. It wasn't any random school boy she had ran into. It was Cooper Seldon, the boy she just so happened to have a huge crush on for the past year.

"I- uh-don't-um," she stuttered. Her face was flaming and her hands were shaking as they reached for the books he was holding out.

Cooper smiled at her and opened his mouth to say something but the bell rang then and he rose up, without a look back he made his way down the hall and to his own class.

"Felicity," Thea hissed. "Are you ever going to be speak in more than sentence fragments around him?"

She groaned as she gathered the rest of her books.

"Seriously Felicity, it's getting worse."

"Well aware."

"Maybe if you dyed your hai-"

"Nope," she immediately cut her off as the bell rang for the second time. Thank God. "Let's go, we're gonna be late and you know Mr. Diggle hates tardiness."

* * *

A hour later she was stomping to her locker. It was just her luck that the teacher would assign her a article about something she, Felicity Smoak who knew everything, knew nothing about.

"What homecoming means to me, really?" She said to herself as she slammed her books in her locker.

"Talking to yourself again Felicity?" asked a familiar male voice.

She froze and pressed her lips together. Could this day get any worse? Now she had to deal with him too? Was it possible to melt into a pool of mortification?

"I really need to stop doing that," she whispered.

"I think it's cute. It's part of your charm."

She sighed and closed her locker before turning to him. Oliver Queen. The hottest guy in school...well that what all the other girls called him. She didn't agree with them. No he wasn't hot at all. So what if he was over six foot tall with sandy blonde hair and had blue eyes that you could drown in. And the stubble... oh man the stubble that had her wanting to run her fingers through it, feel it scratch against her palm. She jolted at that thought. What the heck? This was Oliver. The boy she had known her whole life. They were neighbors and though they had bathed together when they were babies and lived on the same street they certainly were not friends. Not at all.

She quickly schooled her features and adopted her normal attitude towards him. Nonchalance and disdain. It seemed to work. That was until he did... _that._

He smiled from his place leaning against the lockers, his arms crossed, biceps bulging against the fabric of his grey t-shirt, his blue eyes sparkling. Her eyes moved to the tiny mole at the corner of those oh so kissable lips. Wait... what? She shook herself again before grabbing her backpack from the floor to hide her blush.

Why couldn't he be some lanky boy with braces and headgear? But nooo he had to look like a Greek god. It was just her luck.

"Greek god huh? That's a new one. I usually get Abercrombie or GQ cover model."

She screwed her eyes shut and counted to three in her head. Would she ever learn to control her mouth.

"What do you want Oliver?" She ground out.

"Can't I just talk to my neighbor?"

"You never have before."

"Now that's not true," he disagreed.

"Oliver if you want something just spit it out."

"I was-" His sentence abruptly ended as Laurel suddenly appeared, her lips covering his own.

She watched as they made out for long seconds and wondered if she'd be able to hit her head on the locker with enough force to render herself briefly unconscious. Laurel's eyes opened and she sent her a self satisfied glare as if to say 'You couldn't have this if you wanted it'. It took everything inside of her not to grab Laurel's hair and slam her into the lockers. Wow. Where had that come from? She wasn't usually a violent person.

A moment later Laurel pulled back and slapped Oliver's face lightly. "Oliver, what have I told you. We are not getting back together." She put one hand on her hip and wiped a smudge of lipstick from the corner of her mouth with the other. Laurel turned to her. "Were you just talking to my ex?"She asked, her meaning clear.

"Uh...yes. Nothing's going on though, he and I. Nope, never. Unthinkable."

A look crossed Oliver's face then but it disappeared too quickly for her to discern what is was. Had he looked...hurt? No. She was seeing things. Maybe she needed to get her eyes checked again.

"Oh I know that," Laurel waved her hand dismissively. "You two together? That would be hilarious and embarrassing."

"Laurel-" Oliver started but Laurel cut him off with another press of her lips. Felicity closed her eyes. If she saw much more of that her lunch would come up nothing like the way it had went down. A few seconds later she heard their lips part noisily and peeled her eyes open to see the brunette stepping away.

"See you tonight," Laurel called over her shoulder as she strutted away.

"Nice," she said tightly as she hiked her book bag higher on her back.

"Yeah," Oliver said looking down at his shoes. It was odd seeing him like that. Oliver Queen was anything but shy. She was just fixing to comment on his attitude when it did a one-eighty. His playboy mask slipped back into place and she had the strange urge to scream...or maybe cry.

"Well see ya," he said with a flirty wink as he also left leaving her standing there in the middle of the hall wondering just what in the heck all of that had been about.

Sara appeared at her side. "What was that about?"

"I have no idea."

"Oliver Queen was talking to you. There had to be a reason."

Felicity let out a sigh. "No reason Sara...no reason at all."

She hated that her voice sounded so defeated. She did not have feelings for Oliver, she told herself. Now if only she could convince her heart of that.


	2. DUFF

The Lances house was big and reminded her of a mini mansion. Lights shone from the windows and the large lawn was littered with students with cups in their hands who were dancing to the distant beat that was spilling from the open doors. She vaguely wondered how Laurel had convinced her Dad to allow her to have such a rager.

When they got closer she stopped in the middle of the drive and just stared. "How did you guys convince me to come to this party again?"

"We dragged you here," Thea stated as she patted her back.

"Oh that's right," she said as she tapped her head. "Well I had a great time. See you guys tomorrow," she spit out as she turned on her heel and headed down the gravel drive. Unfortunately Sara and Thea both caught her and dragged her back towards the house. She know knew why Thea was nicknamed Speedy. The petite brunette had all but tackled her to the ground.

Felicity winced as she entered the house, the loud music pulsating in her ears. Thea took her hand and led her to the back yard where other kids were dancing by the pool. Thea joined in and so did Sara.

"Come on," they both called.

"No I'll just stay right here," she yelled over the beat of the music while crossing her arms. Sara shook her head as she danced her way over to her and dragged her way over to the pool side.

She looked around at all the other dancers. She really didn't know how to dance and doing so by the pool? That was asking for a disaster.

"Let lose girl," Thea screamed as she put her hands over her hand and moved to the music like it was second nature. Probably was.

She finally loosened up a little and wiggled a little bit causing both of her friends to laugh. She danced for a few minutes before palming her throat.

"You know all this dancing has made me really thirsty, wouldn't want to get dehydrated," she said with a dramatic air as she started to leave their small group so fast they didn't have time to call her back.

She sighed in relief when she finally reached the drink table. She grabbed a cup that looked to be filled with soda and took a sip and immediately wrinkled her nose. Yep...definitely not soda. Her eyes drifted out the window and she immediately spotted Cooper amongst a group of girls and guys. His hands were moving as he talked to a guy she recognized from her computer lab. He laughed at something that was said and she sighed. He was so dreamy.  
Unfortunately her silent musing was interrupted shortly after she made that comment internally.

"There's my favorite Duff," said a voice that had her rolling her eyes. Oliver irritating her twice in one day. It was a new record. Did the man just try to get on her nerv- wait...

"What did you just call me?"

"Duff." She stared at him, making it clear she had no idea what he was talking about. "D.U.F.F. Designated Ugly Fat Friend." Her mouth dropped open. "It's nothing bad," he quickly reassured her.

"You just called me fat, and ugly!" She shrieked not caring that she was drawing unwanted attention from other party goers.

He put his hands up. "You're not fat or ugly. It's just a category, kinda like jock or nerd. You've never heard the saying before?"

"Definitely not," she huffed, her ire growing. "I don't even know what it means."

Oliver stopped and sat his drink down. "Let me give you the quick rundown. How many guys ask about you on any given day?"

She bristled. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question."

She set her jaw and shrugged. "Lot's."

"How many guys ask you about your friends?"

Was he trying to insinuate that guys only talked to her because they wanted to get to her friends. He wasn't...was he?

"The Duff is the approachable one, they're easy to talk to because nobody's trying to get in their pants. They don't look as good therefore making their friends look better. Duff. You friend-ed up, good for you."

Her hand squeezed her not-soda filled cup and she knew any minute it would burst and cover her shoes but she didn't care. Her ears were on fire and she had never wanted to punch someone so bad as she had Oliver just then. How dare he. Had she honestly had stirrings of feelings for him earlier in the day? She doesn't know how it happens but soon the liquid in her drink finds a home on the front of his shirt and she storms away from him leaving him standing there dripping wet and sticky and not caring one bit about it or the people staring at her as she sweeps from the house.

She was not a...a Duff...was she?

* * *

The next day her little stunt at the party was the talk of the school. But as it always was with high school the story had been spun a little differently than it actually happened. She kept her head down and soon enough some other teenage catastrophe drew the attentions of the vultures that were high schoolers. She hadn't talked to Sara or Thea since last night the party instead she had gone home, laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling for hours. She was still awake when Oliver's light next door clicked on at four-thirty. She had jumped from her bed and shut the curtains before climbing back in bed where she proceeded to toss and turn for the next two hours.

When they were kids the windows that faced each other had been used to send messages or talk about random things. That was until Oliver discovered girls around ten. After that she had grown closer to Sara and Thea and Oliver was soon just the boy next door she happened to know. So entranced in her memories she didn't realize someone was calling her name until two snapping fingers appeared in front of her face.

"Miss Smoak?" She jumped. "Are you alright?"

"Uh...yeah." She glanced behind her to find Thea and Sara looking at her questioningly. Mr. Diggle took in the exchanged and sensing the girls needed to talk slunk away to look over the shoulders of the other students in the writing lab.

"What happened to you last night?" Sara whispered.

"I had a...run in of sorts." Just talking about it brought back the anger that had been bubbling just under the surface. How dare you friends not tell her she was their Duff! She pointed towards the hall and they followed her as she stalked out the door. As soon as she was away from the listening ears of other students she whirled around on her friends and put her hands on her hips.

"Why didn't you tell me I was your Duff?" Sara snorted and Thea's jaw went slack.

"Who told you that?" Thea demanded.

"Oliver Queen." Thea's eyes went wide at the mention of her brother.

"And you believed him?" Sara questioned in between giggles.

"It makes sense Sara!"

"How's that?"

"You're hot and I'm...not," she finished with a shrug while gesturing to her body.

"Felicity just because you think you're not hot doesn't mean that-"

"See!" She pointed a fingers at Sara's stress. "You just admitted that I'm your Duff!"

"No I did not, just listen-"

"No, I'm tired of people using me to get to my friends. Do you know how often guys ask me about you? 'So does Sara have a boyfriend?' _'Do you think Thea is still interested in that Roy guy?'_ She mocked. "They don't ask about me, all they're interested is getting to you. I'm just a means to an end."

"You are no such thing Felicity-" Thea started but she cut her off.

"No, you know what? I'm done. I'm tired of it always being the Sara and Thea show. What about me?" She ran her hands through her hair. Later she knew she would regret her words. She wasn't a selfish person but she was too worked up to see clearly. "I deserve people to want me for me...not for my best friends."

"Felicity," Sara said softly, her face sad. Thea reached towards her and she backed away.

"I just...I need some time," she whispered. A lone tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly. "I'm sorry," she said as she walked away from her friends leaving them staring after her confused and hurt.


	3. Going Our Way

Oliver Queen had made a lot of stupid mistakes in his short lifetime but he counted telling Felicity Smoak that she was a Duff as the worst one. But that's what he got for letting Tommy talk him into playing beer pong.

He had known Felicity his whole life, they had even been good friends once but over the years they had drifted apart. He had discovered girls and her dad had left. They both became different knew she was feeling lost, abandoned and rather than be there for her as a friend should he had watched from a distance as she drifted into darkness, too worried about ruining his reputation to take a chance. Before he knew it gone was the bright Felicity. Where once there had been sunshine was now replaced with with dark clothes and raven black hair. That didn't stop him from caring about her though, even if he didn't show it in the best of ways. The whole 'I'm mean to you because I really like you' thing wasn't for guys his age but apparently he missed the memo because he was still doing it with Felicity...after all these years.

He was glad he was alone in the boys locker room because he felt pretty low. He knew he needed to apologize to Felicity but every time she saw him in the hall she bolted in the opposite direction. He rested his head against his locker. He'd have to get creative. Maybe catch her as she left class. He knew her schedule...which was a little stalkerish now that he thought about. She was best friends with his sister and Thea was constantly talking about Felicity and their classes together so he blamed it on that. He didn't have an excuse for the classes she didn't take with his sister. So he formulated a plan. He would have to catch her in a class or when she came out of one. He was fixing to grab a t-shirt when someone grabbed his arm and shoved him back against the lockers.

"What the-" He came up short when he realized who is was. "Sara?"

"Oliver Queen...you idiot!" She growled as her hand pressed against his throat.

"Sara tone it down a bit," Thea pleaded as she look around the corner, apparently serving as look out.

"I could kill you right now!" Sara hissed.

"You don't look good in orange," Thea commented while bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"And that's why I wont...but it won't stop me from roughing you up a bit Queen."

"I'm not going to ask what this is for because I know."

"That's the first intelligent thing I've heard out of your mouth in...well ever."

He looked to Thea who had inched closer to them. "I'm really sorry for what I did. You have no idea how much. I wish I could take it all back."

"Well you can't, it's out there. Do you know how much you hurt her? You preyed on every insecurity she had." He closed his eyes in pain. "You know it's weird. I always thought you cared for Felicity...as more than just a friend but maybe I was wrong, because you don't treat the people you care about that way."

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. Thea stepped forward and Sara released her hold on his shirt and he slumped against the lockers. What had he done?

"We're not kids anymore Ollie, you've always hid the way you feel...because you think it's a weakness to open your heart, really open your heart to someone and let me tell you it's not. I get it, especially after what happened between Mom and Dad...but that's not you. It's time to grow up and stop hiding because if you don't you're going to have nothing and no one and you'll never be happy alone."

He stared at his sister. When had she grown up and how did he miss it?

"Is...is she okay?" He asked her, he knew that Felicity and Thea were very close.

"I don't know, she won't talk to us," Thea responded as she glanced at Sara.

He pressed his lips together and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm guessing the words 'I really screwed up' are resounding in your head?" Sara bet.

"Among other phrases," he confessed, his voice thick.

"Then I guess I wont pound you into the ground. I don't want bruises for homecoming anyway." Sara poked a finger to his chest. "You better fix this Queen or I might change my mind and I'm stronger than I look."

A strangled noise escaped his throat just as someone entered the room.

"Is everything okay in here?" Roy asked from the doorway.

"Yeah..." Sara sent him a glare over her shoulder. "We're done here," she finished as she picked up her book bag from the floor.

Thea sent a shy smile Roy's way before turning back to her brother.

"Fix it Ollie, for Felicity sake, for ours...and for you."

He nodded.

Now to figure out how to fix it...and if he even could.

* * *

A couple days passed, she avoided Oliver and her friends in the halls and ignored most of their text messages and phone calls. Thea and Sara eventually understood that she was serious about needing time. They had both finally text her to tell her they would be there when she was ready. That had made her cry and consider going back and begging their forgiveness...but she couldn't. She was tired of not being important enough.

Later in the day she was lost in her thoughts while working in Chem Lab when Oliver sidled up beside her.

"Hey," he said as he leaned on the corner of her desk.

She glanced up. "Hey," she parroted, her tone one that said 'I don't want to be bothered.'

"So about the other night..." She sat her beaker down and crossed her arms.

"True Oliver Queen fashion. You've got those words down pat."

Oliver looked down and she was shocked to see he actually looked contrite.

"I deserved that. I didn't mean what I said that night Felicity. I was a little buzzed and was being a jerk."

She gasped and placed a hand on her chest. "Is Oliver Queen apologizing?" She looked around the room before leaning towards him. "Where's the hidden cameras?"

He laughed and shook his head. "I'm being serious."

"Alright, then I'm listening," she announced as she took of her safety glasses and laid them on the desk.

"What? You want more?"

"You called me ugly...and fat. I'm sorry just doesn't cut it."

"Like I said, you're neither ugly nor fat. I would never say those things about anyone. That's messed up."

"So then what are you trying to say?"

"Tony Romo is a Dallas Cowboy but that doesn't mean he rides a horse."

She blinked, once then twice. "What in the heck are you talking about?"

"Its an example. You can be something without really being something."

"I have IQ higher than your SAT'S and I'm still not following." She pushed his arms off her desk. "Go help your lab partner."

"She's got it."

Felicity glanced over her shoulder to see a girl staring blankly at the bottom of the beaker. "Yeah sure."

"So am I forgiven?" Oliver begging for forgiveness had to be her new favorite thing. She wasn't going to make it that easy though.

"Go away before I murder you," she said as she grabbed her glasses from the desk.

Oliver watched her for a moment before smiling and rising from his place. She felt rather than saw him come back up behind her.

"Are you serious?"

"I will murder you," she reiterated.

If she had turned around she would have seen the look of absolute adoration cross his face.

* * *

She was gathering her books an hour later when the teacher Mrs. Diggle approached Oliver. She tried not to overhear their conversation but it was kinda impossible.

"Mr. Queen, may I have a word?"

"What's wrong?" He asked with concern.

Lyla hesitated before answering. "You're failing Chemistry."

"Mrs. Diggle, I can't fail or they'll kick me off the team and I'll lose my scholarship."

"I'm sorry Oliver I really am, but short of you acing your mid term, there's nothing I can do."

Oliver nodded before grabbing his books and walking solemnly from the room. Oliver Queen may not be her favorite person right now but she did have a heart. After all he was the only person who had finally been brave enough to tell her the truth. She only wished there was something she could do to help him.

"Wait a second," she says aloud as a idea strikes her. "Maybe there is."

"What was that Miss Smoak?"

"Nothing Mrs. Diggle," she replied as she threw her bag over her shoulder. "Maybe something," she whispered to herself as she left the room plan in place.

* * *

"You want me to what?" Oliver asked in confusion, his hands gripping a football.

"Un-Duff me," she explained.

"Is that even a word?"

"Yes, because I made it one." He cast a sidelong glance at her as he through the ball back to his friend Tommy across the field.

"Don't you have friends to do the whole makeover thing?" He asked as he grabbed the ball from the air with a grunt.

"We're uh...we're not really talking at the moment."

Oliver stopped and turned to her abruptly. "Still?"

"What?"

"Uh...nothing." She stared at him for a moment, trying to gauge what was up with him. She was just starting to explain the reason she wanted to change, (Cooper, though she withheld his name in favor of just calling him a crush) when she heard a shout behind her.

"Hey heads up!" Tommy yelled in warning and she pivoted to see the football hurtling towards her head. She lifted her hands to ward off the blow but Oliver pushed her to the side making her fall to the ground. The ball hit him in the chest and fell down beside her before he could catch it. Tommy called an apology that they both ignored.

"Are you okay?" Oliver asked as he held a hand out to her.

"I'm fine, it's not the first time you've pushed me down," she replied as she stood on her own and started wiping off her pants.

Oliver's hand dropped to his side and she looked up at him. "So will you do it?" He crossed his arms and stared down at her. Why had she never noticed he was so...large. She was practically a dwarf beside him. Even wearing a pair of small heeled boots her chin barely reached his chest.

"I know how this works. I'm not asking for a favor cause we're not favor friends, but I do have something to offer you." His eyebrows rose and she could swear his eyes darkened just a bit.

"Not like that," she said as she swatted him arm. "I meant Chemistry, of course. Wait not like that kind of chemistry. Not that we don't have any of that, cause we do. I didn't mean that we would do something else, like sexually. Not that I would be adverse to it because you are handsome and oh my gosh somebody kill me." She clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Do you practice to talk that fast?" Oliver asked with a smirk.

"No it just comes natural." She let out a breath.

"So chem?" She nearly kissed him for giving her an out.

 _'Nope, not going there,'_ she thought to herself.

"Yes, I can help you pass."

"Okay."

"Okay?" He was agreeing so easily? Maybe he had some lingering guilt pent up. Darn she should have played the guilt card.

"Yep, on one condition though."

"What?"

"You have to ask me in monster voice."

"From when we were little?" She gasped.

"Yep," he said with a grin.

"I don't even remember it," she lied and Oliver started jogging away. He only got 10 yards away before she called him back, using her monster voice.

In the end she got what she wanted and so did he.

Well...almost what they wanted...just neither of them knew it yet.


	4. Heels & Red Lipstick

"What are we doing here?" Felicity asked as she met Oliver in the middle of the mall Saturday morning.

"Step one, we are here to fix that," he said while sweeping a hand over the air in front of her body.

She looked down. Okay, she'd admit that she didn't have the best style but she didn't think it was that bad.

"Yeah...don't even try to deny something's up with all that. What happened to all the colors you wore when we were kids?"

 _'They disappeared when Dad left,'_ she thought sadly.

She was brought back to the present when he walked forward and rubbed a piece of black hair between his thumb and forefinger. "This isn't you Felicity."

She wanted to ask him how he knew that but she remained silent. They stared into each others eyes for a charged moment before a kid screamed nearby breaking them from their reverie. Oliver immediately stepped back and turned away from her.

"Come on, we have a lot of work to do," he called over his shoulder.

"Work?" She questioned as she ran to catch up.

"I'm a guy, shopping is work."

"Do you even know what you're doing?"

He murmured something that sounded like 'Not a clue' but she couldn't be sure.

"What?"

"Nothing...and yes. I know what I'm doing. I'm a guy."

"That's the second time you've said that...and yes I know you're a guy, you know because of all that..." she gestured to his perfectly sculpted body and he smirked. "What does it have to do with the price of tea in china?"

"You'll see."

"I really hope not," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," she replied as they walked into a store. "Whoa, what is this place?"

"You're telling me you never been here?"

"No."

"Wow."

She crossed her arms. "What's so shocking about that?"

"It just...I'm surprised Thea hasn't dragged you in here. It's her favorite store."

"She's tried but I always begged off." She turned in a circle. "I was always afraid of getting lost." She turned back to him. "It's really intimidating."

"Never thought I'd hear a girl say clothes were intimidating."

"Firstly, this store is huge and has thousands of options and secondly, you try fitting into a tiny dress that shows every ounce of fat on your body and tell me you're not intimidated after."

"You know, that's not really a problem for me," Oliver announced as he flexed him arm.

"Of course not, since you're perfect." Her eyes went wide and his eyebrows rose to his hairline. "Physically...I mean...uh what I mean is, ah...I've seen better."

Oliver's mouth opened but she pushed past him aiming for a rack of dresses. "We've got work to do remember?"

* * *

"So what exactly are we looking for?" She asked him as he stood behind her while she paged through a rack of blouses.

"Things you like."

"But how do I know what I like?"

"Seriously?"

"It's been awhile," she said with a shrug.

"Do you trust me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A serious one. Do you?"

"In theory?"

"If it works for you, sure."

"Then yeah...I guess."

"Okay, move aside," he said as he pushed her away from the rack and pointed towards the fitting rooms. "Go wait in there."

"Wait...why?"

"Just trust me."

"But you don't even know my sizes."

"Okay, then tell me."

"You don't actually expect me to fess up to them do you?"

"It's alright, I don't need them anyway."

"Why not?"

"I have eyes Felicity, now stop stalling."

She stuck her tongue out at him as she shuffled towards the fitting room. Once she was in the privacy of the room she face palmed. Had she really stuck her tongue out at Oliver? Oh boy.

* * *

Oliver could be honest with himself…at least about this.

What was he thinking agreeing to help (in her words) Un-Duff Felicity?

Rules of the world dictated he tell her she was perfect the way she was… and she was…in her own way. Anyone could use a little tweaking,including himself from time to time. It just so happened Felicity's tweaking included makeup and dresses.

As he went through rack after rack of clothes he was man enough to admit he way out of his element. That's why he had discreetly made a phone call to Thea who had been more than glad to help. He of course hadn't told her it was Felicity…his sister would probably have a cow if she knew he was giving her best friend a makeover, especially when she had been begging to do it for years.

Oh he was in deep. As soon as Felicity walked in looking differently Monday morning he might as well kiss his butt goodbye. Sara would probably go back on her decision not to turn him black and blue. But what could he do? It was Felicity and he had a hard time not doing what she'd asked,…he'd just never let her know it.

By the time he made it back to the dressing rooms his arms were full of dresses and he had gotten some weird looks from some guys in the department. One guy even went as far as to make a whipping motion.

He was most certainly not whipped. No one could ever make him settle down.

That's what he thought at the moment anyways.

* * *

"Felicity, you're going to have to come out sometime today," Oliver called through the door.

"I will...just...as...soon...as I...ouch..." she yelped as she caught a piece of her hair in the dress zipper. "Get this thing on."

"Just open up and I'll help. You sound like you're in pain in there."

"I had to squeeze into this thing, it was painful." She opened the door and stepped out, tugging on the material of the garment. "Is it supposed to be this tight?"

Oliver ducked his head and laughed. "Yes Felicity, that's what happens when you wear baggy clothes all the time."

"They hide my two pints of mint chip a week," she said as she turned her back to him and pulled up her hair. "Zip me up will you?" She heard Oliver gasp quietly.

"Uh...yeah," Oliver said, his voice sounding weird. It took a few moments but he finally took hold of the zipper and slowly closed it. She turned back to him and noticed his face was a little flushed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah...uh just-" He cleared his throat. "Got a tickle in my throat."

What she didn't know was he had gotten extremely distracted by the skin on her back so when she nodded and let it pass he had let out a sigh of relief.

"So is this one alright?" She asked from her place in front of the 180 mirror.

"Do you like it?" Oliver inquired.

She glanced in the mirror to find his eyes on her. She ran her hand down the front of the dress. It was emerald green with a boat neckline and a full skirt.

"I do. It's my favorite color actually."

"That's why I picked it." Her eyes snapped up to find his in the mirror.

"You remembered?" She asked in surprise.

"It's hard to forget anything about you Felicity."

"Is that a good or bad thing?"

He took her arm gently and guided her back to her dressing room.

"I'll let you decide," he said before shutting the door leaving her with dozens of more clothes to try on.

* * *

"Oliver what is this?"

"What is what? You're going to have to be a little more specific seeing as I'm out here and you're in there."

She poked her head out the door and held up a piece of purple material. "Does this even qualify as a article of clothing?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It has a...very unfortunate cutout."

"Oh..." his eyes widened in understanding. "I didn't find it unfortunate at all," he said with a grin.

"If I had clothes on I'd come out there and smack you."

"Don't let that stop you," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

She groaned and slammed the door. That...oaf. That's all she could come up with.

She slipped on the dress and looked in the mirror. The dress's neckline went to her collar bone but it had a half-heart shaped cutout that showcased the tops of her breast and the hem just barely touched the top of her knees. Thea would say she looked hot and Sara would make jokes about her losing her option to join a convent.

She wasn't a vain person but she would admit it did make her look...nice... in a word.

Just the thought of what Oliver might do if he saw her in the dress made her smile as she put it in her 'to purchase' pile. He thought she didn't notice that he got caught staring at her spine but she most certainly did. Oh she knew he didn't have feelings for her but he was also a red blooded male. He had to have found her a little attractive or otherwise he wouldn't have taken forever just to zip up her dress. Oh...two could play this game.

* * *

An hour later she was walking out of the store loaded down with bags full of dresses, blouses, skirts, some relaxed clothing and several new pairs of shoes. All her summers of working at Tech Village had finally paid off and she was secretly thrilled she had a new wardrobe.

"So what next?"

"You have an appointment with Maurice."

She frowned. "Who's Maurice?"

"Your new personal stylist."

She came to a stop in the middle of the mall and a old woman slammed into her back. She apologized but the woman just walked around her grumbling all the while about hating teenagers. She shook her head before looking at Oliver again.

"I don't need a stylist," she asserted.

"Felicity you asked me to Un-Duff you..."

"I'm aware..." she lifted up her shopping bags. "That's what these are for."

"New clothes were only the first step." Oliver had apparently been reading too much Seventeen Magazine. Any other time she'd been laughing at the situation. He must have saw her hesitation because he stepped forward.

"Felicity, no matter what you change about your outward appearance, you'll still be you. So don't think about this as being 'Un-Duffed'. Think about it as finding a new you, a new start." She stared at him, her mouth slightly gaping. "What?"

"That was deep."

"I caught an episode of Dr. Phil the other day. I was bored." He said nonchalantly with a shrug. She rolled her eyes as they resumed walking. "Point is, stopping now would be like starting a book and not finishing it."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Have you ever finished a book?"

"I will when I find one worth reading."

She looked at him then. He was just staring ahead, his long legs taking determined strides toward their next destination. Maybe she was finally seeing Oliver for who he really was. A guy with deep thoughts and emotions rather than the playboy facade he kept up at school. He had high walls built around himself and she knew it would take a lot for them to come down. Someone would have to truly get under his skin, be willing to chip off the hard exterior to get to the soft side. She wished he could just be himself. It had to be really hard to put up an act all the time. To have people believe you were nothing but a spoiled brat with the emotional depth of a kiddie pool. One day, if he didn't allow himself to feel, to be free, the facade would consume him and all traces of what made Oliver, Oliver would be gone... or the alternative, it would crumble and destroy him.

She decided then that she would continue to help him, even if it was only to get him to realize his own potential. He was doing something good for her so she'd do something good in return.

"I guess you're right," she finally agreed, feigning reluctance.

Oliver put his hand near his ear. "What was that? I didn't quite catch it."

"I said you were right," she repeated softly.

He shook his head. "Still didn't hear it."

"Good grief! You were right," she said loudly. "Happy now?"

Oliver grinned. "Very. Those are my three favorite words."

"You're incorrigible."

A few minutes later they reached the salon. It was nestled in between a frozen yogurt shop and a boutique selling jewelry. Blow driers and chatter could be heard from the doorway.

"I'm so going to need Froyo after this."

Oliver laughed. "Don't complain and I may just treat you to that Ice Cream afterwards."

She turned to him with a glare. "It's Froyo Oliver, not ice cream. There is a huge difference."

He put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, I'll take your word for it."

"I wish I had some lipstick," she sighed.

"Why?" He asked, puzzled at her abrupt change of topic.

"Because I'm fixing to go into a war zone," she explained. "You know how football players put it on their face before a game?"

"We do not use lipstick. It's grease paint," he defended.

She patted his arm. "Sure," she said before looking at the salon with distaste. "If I don't come out alive tell my mom I loved her and Sara and Thea that they can have my Supernatural series set."

Oliver laughed a hard belly laugh but she didn't stick around. She charged into the shop ready to get the torture over with.

Oh it was going to be fun. Not.

* * *

Three hours later when she looked at herself in the mirror she barely recognized herself. Her hair was now a soft golden blonde, her face was adorned with soft hints of makeup, her lips painted a bright cheery red. Her glasses were replaced with contacts and she was wearing the purple dress with the cutout in the front. The ensemble was paired with a pair of black and silver heels and a pair of drop earrings. She imagined that if her father wouldn't have left them that this is what she would have looked like. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time, lost in thought. She may not look like herself, or who she had thought herself to be for so long but this was her now.

"This is me," she said softly before stepping down from the pedestal. She hesitated before she entered the room where she knew Oliver had been sitting patiently. When she stepped into the room he was flipping through a sports magazine. She swallowed hard before clearing her throat to draw his attention. He looked up and if it had been any other person rather than her standing in front of him then she would have found his reaction comical...but it wasn't, it was her. His mouth dropped open and the magazine fell to the floor as he rose from his seat to walk towards her, stopping a few feet away.

She looked down and tugged at her dress uncertainly. "How do I look?"

"You look...you look-" Oliver stuttered before clearing his throat. "You look great."

"Really?" She asked as she released the fabric of her dress, fighting a smug smile at her ability to actually render Oliver speechless.

"Yeah, really," he answered, his voice a little tight.

"You were right, this is a great dress," she said with another tug on the dress, not able to pass the opportunity up. Oliver choked a little and pulled at the collar of his henley, his ears turning a little pink. He picked up her bags from the floor before he came forward and started tugging her towards the door. She couldn't hide the smile anymore and it broke across her face.

"What next?" She asked him as she tried to keep up with his long strides. Laurel made walking in three inch heels look easy and it was most definitely not. She tripped then and Oliver caught her. He righted her before backing away as if he'd been burned. She looked at him quizzically but he started walking again. "

Step Three, we have to get you used to talking to people."

"Have you met me? I don't have a problem with talking. It's getting me to shut up that's the issue."

"How often do you talk to guys?"

"I'm talking to you right now aren't I?"

"Yes, but you've known me your whole life. I'm talking about actual guys, you know the ones you don't know?"

"I've talked to Cooper," she said finally.

"Cooper Seldon?" Oliver asked with a wrinkle of his nose.

"Yeah. What's wrong with him?"

"You don't have like...a crush on him or something do you?"

She tilted her head. He almost seemed...jealous. "As a matter of fact I do."

"Of all the guys," Oliver muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said as he placed her bags down beside a table in the food court.

"Okay, your goal is to talk to fifteen guys without falling apart."

"Seriously?"

"Get to it," he said as he waved his hand in a shewing motion. "You're not coming with me?" "While you try and pick up guys? That's a little weird and that's saying something given this whole situation."

"But-"

"Nope, you've got this. Go."

She almost stomped her heel in exasperation as she whirled around and stormed away, putting just a little extra sway in her hips. If Felicity had turned around she would have seen that she'd succeeded with her little game. Oliver was enjoying the view as she walked away and it had nothing to do with the mall scenery.


	5. See Right Through Me

Oliver hadn't wanted to leave her, quite the opposite actually. For the first time in years he actually found himself relaxing enough to just be...him. Which was something he could never do with Laurel. Felicity was...well there wasn't quite a word to describe her, she was just Felicity. There was just something about her that drew him in right from the start. It could have been the way she smiled or the way she tripped over her words, maybe even the way she could rock a pair of heels. No he wasn't that shallow, though he would reluctantly admit his mouth had gone dry at her in that purple dress.

Or maybe it was just the way she made him feel. Like he could actually be something in the world, like he mattered. She made him feel free. Why was that?

Laurel couldn't stand her, that much was clear. He didn't know why, she had everything she could ever want. Why she felt Felicity was a threat was beyond him. But that was just Laurel. They had been together so long, they were the high school sweethearts and everyone expected them to be together forever, get married, have the perfect white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog in the yard...but whenever he pictured that it wasn't with her.

He shook his head and laid down on his bed. He was so confused. Every thought in his mind was jumbled and he could barely think straight enough to form those thoughts let alone make a decision about them.

His future was already planned for him and he didn't have much say. It was practically set in stone. His Dad had picked his college and told him he would run the family company one day. His mom-when she wasn't yelling at his father- had insisted he find a distinguished woman to marry, a partner to make him look good. A woman to settle him down. His Mom thought that was Laurel. And Laurel herself? Despite their relationship changing like the tides she had almost every step for both his and her's life planned out for the next ten years.

Felicity would tell him his options were wide open and he needed to follow his heart but she didn't know the pressure he was facing, from all directions...except her. She was his shelter in the storm and it was unfair for her. She shouldn't have such a heavy burden to bear, not from him. He wanted her to remain untainted, free from the life he lived in the public. But how could he do that and not let the world he had built crumble? Felicity had a uncanny ability to scale the walls he had constructed so carefully. It was tempting to push her away. Keep her away from the miserable mess he was becoming. After all it was only a mater of time before it hit this fan. But he just...couldn't. She was a rose among daisy's, a breath of fresh air in a stuffy room, a candle in the darkness.

And he felt all these things with just a limited amount of time spent with her. He couldn't help but wonder where he'd be if he had followed his heart instead of his brain all those years ago. Would he be a better person? A guy worthy of her affection? Now all he could do was hurt her...and he had the sinking suspicion he would do it again.

He groaned and lifted the object in his hand up to the lamplight. It was her glasses. She didn't even know he had them. He should really give them back but something inside of him told him to hold on to them. A reminder of why he should make his own path in the world. Which was ironic when Felicity had just changed herself to fit what the world expected of her. Another mistake in the ever growing list to do with Felicity.

Why did he care so much? She was just a girl. She had nothing to do with his future. She would never fit into the life he had coming for him...probably wouldn't even want to. To be honest he would never want to see it happen. It would be like trying to push a square through a circular mold. Felicity was unique and his world would break her. No matter what he felt for her he would never let that happen.

The million dollar question at the moment was, what did he feel for her? Was it just a budding friendship or something more? He shook his head vigorously. It was nothing. He felt nothing. She was just another girl on his list. She didn't mean anything.

But somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind there were whispered that he was lying to himself.

He placed the glasses on his nightstand and turned out the light. He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours before Felicity's light clicked on next door. He turned on his side her direction and rested his hand on his hand. A glow filled his room and he looked at the glasses again. Maybe he should allow himself to be with her...just to be near her. Use her magic ability to make him a better person. Surely if it was only a short time he could avoid hurting her.

He picked up his phone to send her a text but just as his fingers were going to click on her name another text popped up.

 _ **L:**_ "We _need to talk."_

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not want to talk. So he played the other game he knew best-avoidance- and clicked on Felicity's name and typed out a message.

 **O:** _"How about that Ice cream?"_

He smiled as he pressed send. His ice cream remark almost guaranteed a response from her. He wasn't disappointed. It took only moments for her to reply.

 **F:** _"It's Froyo Oliver. F-R-O-Y-O. Get it through your thick skull."_

 **F:** _"I did not mean for that to sound so mean. Your skull's not thick. It a perfectly asymmetrical skull and it's very handsome."_

 **F:** _"Oh my gosh. How is it possible I can babble on text? If you find my body on the ground outside my window I jumped, I wasn't pushed."_

He smiled at his phone like a giddy teenager as he typed.

 **O:** " _Felicity.. Froyo?"_

 **F:** _"I'm all for it."_

 **O:** _"Tomorrow afternoon?"_

 **F:** _"Yep."_

 **F:** _"P.S I'm only speaking in one word sentences now to avoid complete humiliation."_

His fingers paused on the keys...what would she think about his invitation? It sounded a little desperate and Oliver Queen could not be desperate for a girls attention.

 **O:** _"I'll bring my chem book?"_

Studying. Yeah that was a good enough excuse.

 **F:** _"Only if you're buying."_

 **O:** _"I guess I can handle that. P.S I want an A."_

 **F:** _"I promised you'd pass. I'm not a miracle worker."_

 **O:** _"I beg to differ."_

It was an instant to reply and had he thought he wouldn't have sent it. He hurriedly typed another response.

 **O:** _"See you tomorrow. Good night Felicity."_

 **F:** _"Goodnight? It's one am on a Saturday night and you're going to sleep?!"_

 **O:** _"It was a long day. No wonder Thea always takes a nap after a shopping trip."_

 **F:** _"What are you saying? I'm hard work?"_

 _'Hard...but worth it,'_ he thought and then froze before going with a generic response that the public Oliver would use.

 **O:** _"All girls are work."_

 **F:** _"Wow...that's all you could come up with? Guess I'll let you go. See ya tomorrow."_

He closed his eyes. He was always messing things up.

 **O:** _"Good night Felicity."_

He didn't get a reply and a few long minutes later the soft glow that had shone into his room dimmed and then went out all together.

His phone dinged and he almost dropped it on his face looking for Felicity's reply. It wasn't her.

 **L:** _"Do not ignore me Oliver!"_

Yeah...Oliver always messed things up.

* * *

She had found it a little strange that Oliver had asked her to go to the mall again. Especially after their run in with Laurel. She shook off their weird semi flirty conversation as Oliver using his skills to get what he wanted...which was studying help. Nothing else.

Near the end of their conversation she could tell the playboy act was up again. She was really getting sick of that. But she wouldn't give up. No Felicity Smoak was not a quitter.

She put her phone on her nightstand, climbed in bed and turned out the light and just laid there looking at the ceiling for a while.

Why did she have a bad feeling about all this? Why was Oliver all flirty with her when he had a girlfriend...or whatever Laurel was to him. She could count on both hands the times Laurel and Oliver had broke up and gotten back together over the past few years. She didn't understand what was going on between them...or Oliver and her.

She shook her head. Nope, there was no Oliver and her. There was a her and a him. Two separate people.

But why did she feel a bond building and why was she starting to enjoy having him around? She couldn't avoid to form attachments, especially not to him. The last important man in her life had left her. He had told her he loved her only to abandon her and her mother. She would never understand why he'd left. For a time she had even believed it had been her fault. But over time she realized it wasn't her...or her mother...it was him.

Oliver had the makings of being another important person and that scared the living daylights out of her. Could she even trust him with her friendship let alone her heart? Would he trample on it, just like her father? Every instinct told her yes, to run and not look back. Claim his as a lost cause. But something was holding her back from that.

He deserved her belief, at least until he proved he didn't.

A sudden thought struck her and her hand shot out to her nightstand.

Where were her glasses?

* * *

Sunday morning dawned bright and early and Oliver found himself at the Merlyn estate tossing a ball with Tommy. That was until he blabbed what he'd done the day before.

"You did what?" Tommy screeched, the football dropping to the ground. "Oh man, you're in deep. Sara is going to skin you alive and Thea..." He trailed off and made slashing motion on his neck. "Have you considered witness protection?"

"You don't think I know that?" He replied, ignoring the last question while picking up the ball and squeezing it.

"Then why did you do it?" He shrugged in answer. "You don't know? I'll tell you why, it's because you've never been able to say no to Felicity Smoak."

Could Tommy really see through him so easily? He stiffened. Who else could? Felicity? People at school? Laurel?

"I hate to tell you this man but the moment that girl stuck out her lip and batted her blue eyes in kindergarten, you were gone buddy."

He threw the ball back to Tommy a little too hard.

"Ouch!" Tommy howled while shaking his hands out, the skin of his palms red from the impact. "Don't take it out on me."

"You don't know what you're talking about Tommy." He said darkly.

"Okay wow, touchy much? Just speaking the truth. That's what brothers do."

"We're not related."

"Again, ouch. Seriously though, as messed up as it is your sister is my sister so that makes us as good as. Plus you never know, my dad could be your dad too."

"Tommy the next ball I throw is going to be at your head." Tommy put his hands up in surrender and tossed the ball back to him.

"It doesn't matter anyways. I'm with Laurel."

"Uh..no you're not."

"We'll probably get back together anyways so I might as well be," his voice sounding dead to his own ears.

"News flash man, your relationship with Laurel? It's toxic. Healthy relationships don't break up as much as you guys have."

"Our relationship is... complicated." Tommy pointed at him.

"Exactly. They're not supposed to be complicated. They're supposed to be natural and fun."

"And how would you know?"

"Hey, I may play the field but I have had good relationships that lasted more than a week."

"What? In third grade?" He snorted.

"That's offensive, Anna was a sweetheart."

Oliver's eyebrows rose as if to say 'See?'

"And no," Tommy continued. "It doesn't matter who but...when you care about someone you want to be around them, ask them about their day. You laugh and can talk for hours about everything and nothing. You imagine a future with them and when something good happens they're the first one you want to call. That's what a good relationship is like." Tommy walked over and stood in front of him, his arms crossed. "Now tell me...is that you and Laurel?"

His gaze moved to his shoes and he didn't answer, not because he didn't want to but because he couldn't. Had he and Laurel ever been like that? Maybe once upon a time, in the beginning when everything was new and exciting. But now? Not so much. Now all Laurel ever did was complain and ride around on a high horse. One he couldn't reach and had no desire to try. But they were meant to be. They hadn't spent all those years together without permanently separating if they weren't. Right?

"Is that you and Felicity?" Oliver's head snapped up.

"No," he said quickly before shoving the ball at Tommy's chest.

"There's nothing going on between me and Felicity and there won't be. Ever."

Tommy gave him a dubious look. "Even if you want there to be?"

His mouth parted and he was about to tell Tommy to mind his own business when he heard his name called from a distance. He internally groaned. Tommy grabbed his water bottle and wiped his face with a towel.

"For once Oliver...do what makes you happy." Tommy smiled at him before leaving him to deal with Laurel who came to a stop in front of him a moment later.

"You didn't answer my calls or texts."

"I've been busy," he said as he grabbed his own water bottle and took a long drink.

"Yes I know, with that Fefe girl."

"It's Felicity Laurel. You've known her your whole life, you should know that."

"I don't really care what her name is, what I do care about is what you're doing with her," she demanded, her foot tapping impatiently on the grass.

"Nothing, we're friends Laurel, that's it."

"You don't have female friends Ollie," Laurel spat. The nickname grated on his nerves.

"Well last I checked Laurel I could if I wanted too and do anything I so pleased with them too, seeing as we aren't together."

"Being with me hasn't stopped you before." It stung but it was true. He started to wonder if he was the cause for the bitter person Laurel had become over the past few years.

"I told you I was sorry about that. Can we move on?"

"Is that what your doing with Felicity?" She questioned, her eyes blazing.

"I told you-" He started but she cut him off.

"Well excuse me if I don't believe you, you've never been very good in the honesty department."

"I'm telling the truth Laurel! She's likes a guy and it's not me," he yelled, his temper finally getting the better of him. He pressed his lips together and his hands balled at his sides. Great, he'd just ratted Felicity out. Him and his big mouth. He silently cursed. Laurels eye's took on a gleam he didn't quite like.

"Fine, I believe you." She came forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek."This doesn't mean we're back together yet. I'm still mad at you."

He wanted to ask for what but she tossed her hair over her shoulder and smacked her lips together, "Well I have to scoot, I've been dying to talk to Thea."

"Thea? Since when do you talk to Thea?"

"Since she's going to be my sister in a few years. We're going to be the best of friends."

"When pigs fly," he muttered.

"Excuse me?" She asked, one perfectly plucked brow arching.

"I said I want some pie," he covered smoothly before grabbing his bag from the ground. Laurels eye's turned into slits and she looked as if she was going to comment but before she could he took off towards his car. "See you at school. I've got to study." He didn't turn around to see Laurel smirking, her arms crossed across her body, a sign she was planning something.

And those plans never turned out good for anyone but herself.


	6. Brand New Scars

Later that afternoon Oliver walked into the Frozen Yogurt place and dropped his bag down into the booth where she was sitting. Her head snapped up from where she'd been studying a textbook.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, a worried look on her face.

"Nothing," he grunted.

"Well it's obviously something because you've got growly face."

"Growly face?" He asked, his head tilted to the side.

"You've had it since were were kids. Once when Myron was picking on Thea you got so angry your face scrunched up and your eyes got all dark. It was a little scary. Ever since then you get it when your angry or frustrated. So.." she leaned forward and took a bite of her frozen yogurt. "Spill it."

He slid into the seat across from her. "I thought I was buying?"

"Stop trying to change the subject," she said as she pointed her spoon at him.

He put his Chem book on the table and she took another bite of her treat.

"You were late and I couldn't wait any longer. I've been thinking about this since yesterday afternoon. Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat regular food when all you can think about is sweets?" He didn't even break a smile. "Tough crowd."

"I'm sorry..I'm just worried about this test," he apologized lamely. She could tell it was a lie.

"Are you sure? It's not something else?" She questioned, her hand reaching across the table to his but he pulled away. She sat back and folded her hands in her lab. What was wrong with him?

"Felicity can we just study?" He asked tiredly.

"Right, well uh, let's get started," she stuttered.

Straight to business. A hour and a half later they had studied through a third of what he needed to know for his final. He was starting to understand a little more and was even able to answer a few questions he couldn't before without looking in the book.

He started to gather his books. "You got somewhere to be?"

"Yeah." He said offering no further explanation while shoving his books in his bag.

"Oliver?" She asked softly and he sighed before turning to her. "Is everything okay?"

"I told you Felicity, everything fine." She nodded and he started to walk away. "Oliver," she called after him and he turned. "If you ever need to talk to someone, you can talk to me."

He didn't say anything for a moment before ducking his head. "I know."

And then he was gone, leaving her sitting there wondering what had gone wrong.

* * *

It had taken everything in him not to talk to Felicity. It had practically killed him to be anything less than friendly to her and yet he'd gone in there and treated her as if all she was nothing but a tutor. Just a means to an end.

The whole time he was with her Tommy's words were resounding in his head.

 _"When you care about someone you want to be around them, ask them about their day. You laugh and can talk for hours about everything and nothing. You imagine a future with them and when something good happens they're the first one you want to call. That's what a good relationship is like."_

The scary thing was...he had all that with Felicity. But he wasn't ready for it and he wasn't worth it. His relationship with Laurel had proved that. He hadn't ever been faithful to her, not for long and they certainly weren't what Tommy had described as a good relationship. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed with Laurel or really talked to her for that matter. The truth was he just wasn't good with relationships. Of any kind. What made Tommy think he could be any different with Felicity?

 _"...the moment that girl stuck out her lip and batted her blue eyes in kindergarten, you were gone buddy,"_ Tommy had said.

If that was the truth then why had he realized it? Why had he spent most of his time in meaningless relationships and playing the field without caring for the hearts he broke along the way? Felicity didn't deserve that, no matter what he felt. Tommy could tell him he lov- cared for Felicity until he was blue in the face but that wouldn't change his mind. He was no good for her and it was time she realized it. Why did just that thought break his heart? Maybe karma was real and it was coming back to bite him big time.

He would be the first one to admit it, he deserved it. Especially for what he was about to do.

* * *

Monday mornings had never really been her thing. Actually morning's it general were all around bad for her. She had tossed and turned all night worried about Oliver. Was there something he wasn't telling her? Was it something to do with his family?

She stiffened as another though hit her. Was it something to do with Laurel?

With his track record it was a strong possibility. She really wished they could get over this whole hot and cold dance they were doing. Why were boy's so moody? Or was it broody? For Oliver it could be either. She wouldn't admit under oath that it was a little bit hot. No that was demented and irritating the fire out of her.

She decided that as soon as she got to school she'd find him and ask him exactly was what was going on. She'd beat him out of him if she had too. Okay, maybe not, she wasn't that strong. Beating was more Sara's thing anyways. Man she missed her best friends. Should she call them?

She examined herself in the mirror where her outfit of a teal colored top, dark jeans and pair of white sandals reflected back at her.

No, she needed to go into this alone. She would probably be ridiculed and made fun of which would lead to Sara going ape and she didn't want that. It was getting closer to graduation and the last thing Sara needed was to be expelled, not so close to graduation. She knew better than to believe even that would stop her blonde best friend.

She sighed, grabbed her school bag and descended the stairs. Her mom was by the front door brushing some gloss over her lips.

"Morning baby," she said while closing the tube.

"Morning Mom," she replied as she took a apple from the bowl on the kitchen table.

"You look beautiful today."

"Thanks."

"Is this all for that Queen boy?" Her head whipped to her mother.

"No," she said a little too loudly, her nails biting into the skin of her apple. "No, Mom, it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me," she finished, her voice on a more normal level.

"Well...whatever it's for, I'm glad to see you again."

"What do you mean?" She asked puzzled at her mom's words. Oliver had said the same thing.

"You have never been a dark person Felicity. When your father left, you hid your grief behind dark clothes and a more somber attitude. My happy girl disappeared... "

She looked down and her mom strode forward, taking her chin gently making her look up.

"Beautiful girl, ever since you've been spending time with Oliver...I've seen that happy girl again. You smile and laugh and you have a spring in your step. Your spark is back and I've been waiting for that a very long time."

"Why didn't you say anything Mom?"

"Because I knew you needed to find yourself again on your own. Just so happens Oliver helped with that. He did a good job too," he mother said with a laugh and a smile as she pulled back to look at her outfit.

Her fingers fiddled with the hem of her blouse at her mother's appraisal.

"There's nothing going on between us."

"Are you sure?" Her mother asked, doubt apparent on her face.

"Yes, one hundred percent. He only see's me as a friend," she assured her, trying to control the blush she could feel working it's way up her neck.

"Somehow I doubt that." Donna admitted.

"Why would you say that?" She asked, her vice a little high pitched.

"Because I can see how much you care about him and baby girl, you've had that boy wrapped around your finger for years."

She scoffed and slung her bag over her shoulder. "You've got it all wrong Mom," she said as she backed toward the door. She bumped into the coat rack and righted it before rushing out the door and down to her waiting car.

Her mom had it wrong, completely and utterly wrong.

* * *

When she arrived at school a little while later and parked her car she decided to stay in the safety of the interior for as long as she could. Maybe she could make a run for her first class and she could avoid some of the stares and off handed remarks. She sighed and laid her head on her steering wheel. She couldn't hide from this for long. It was better just to face it and get it over with. She got out of her car and headed inside.

A few minutes later when she walked into the hall it was to laughter and pointing fingers. She frowned. She had expected some stares but not laughter. Her heart picked up as she kept walking. People were looking at her and down at their phones. What was up with that? Her phone vibrated and she dug it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. What she saw had her coming to an abrupt halt in the middle of the corridor.

It was a video... of her at the mall. There was footage of her humiliating herself in front of multiple guys and of her walking in and out of Maurice's shop complete with not-nice commentary about her new look and much to her horror there were several clips meshed together of her talking about her crush on Cooper. They had been videos that Thea had taken of her to help her practice talking to him.

How did they even get those? She knew without a shadow of doubt that Thea hadn't given the video to anyone. She would never do that. Not freely anyways. There was only one explanation.

"Oliver," she sputtered.

Had Thea inadvertently given her brother, hence his on again off again girlfriend the videos? The jeering finally became too much and tears pricked the back of her eyes as she rushed through the halls finally finding sanctuary in the Writing Lab.

How could he do something like this to her? She had thought...that he liked her. As a friend of course..but still. She wiped at the tears that were falling furiously. She must have been wrong, about him, about everything.

A noise interrupted her silent musing and she jumped.

"Woah, it's just me Felicity." Diggle walked forward and sat down beside her on the floor. Despite him being a teacher he was only the only person she really connected with at the school. He was more like a friend than a teacher. "Are you okay?"

She closed her eyes and pressed her palms against them. "No, I'm not," she sniffed.

Diggle sighed. "This shouldn't have happened to you." She remained silent and nudged her shoulder. "At least you're a senior."

She laughed then as a few more tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Only you could find the silver lining and make a joke in this situation."

He chuckled. "You know I'd do anything to make this go away Felicity."

"I know, and I love you for it. But you can't fix this Digg."

"Do you know who did it?" Diggle asked.

"I suspect Oliver."

"Really?"

"What? You don't believe me?"

"It's not that, it's just..."

"Just?"

"I've known both you and Oliver your whole lives, you two are practically my kids and though Oliver has done a lot of stupid crap-"

"A lot," she echoed making Diggle chuckle as he continued.

"He has a good heart. I don't see him doing something like this...not to you."

She sucked in a breath. He was the second person of the day to insinuate Oliver felt more for her than he let on.

"He care's about you Felicity."

"Yeah right," she scoffed once again. Digg was very rarely wrong but this time he was way off.

"You don't see it do you?"

"No, I most certainly don't," she said as she ran a hand under her nose.

Diggle sighed again. "Just get his side of the story before you give him the third degree will you?"

The bell rung and she rose from her seat. "I make no promises."

When she slipped from the room and into the hall she came face to face with Cooper. He stared at her for only a second before he turned around and ran, literally ran away from her. A new wave of tears threatened. She managed to make it through her next two classes. It wasn't until lunch that things got truly awful.

She sat at a table in the cafeteria by herself just pushing her food around her plate when the football team came in being their usual boisterous and irritating selves. Oliver led the group and his gaze passed over her as he walked by. Even though she didn't expect him to acknowledge her in front of the whole school it still hurt.

Fifteen minutes later she called lunch a loss and started to carry her tray to the trash. Unfortunately she had to walk by the football table to do so and when she did they all started to make kissing noises. One even went so far as to call out Cooper's name while making smooching gestures. Tommy and Roy much to her surprise were the only one's not making fun of her. In fact they both looked a little piqued. Her gaze moved to Oliver who was looking down at his tray.

"You're not going to do anything?" She asked him, her heart pounding in her chest. The only thing that kept her hands from shaking was her grip on her tray.

"Why would I? Why don't you ask Cooper?" he said and a few other player's clapped him on the back and hooted in laughter. A few other players made some crude remarks and Oliver just smirked, his infamous playboy mask covering his face.

She knew any minute now the tears she had been holding back all morning were going to break free. He glanced up at her and she saw something in those eyes of his. It was almost as if he regretted what he had done but wasn't brave enough to change it. That made her even more mad. He had the power to do good but he didn't want to take the chance. That made him nothing but a coward.

She stared at him for another moment and saw when he knew he had ruined everything. His face twisted and his mouth opened but she slammed her tray down on his table and spun so fast the world tilted. She didn't led that stop her though as she ran from the room. She didn't think she would ever be able to face him again.

On her way out of the cafeteria she saw Laurel, a smug smile on her face, her hyena's laughing behind her. She knew then that Laurel was the root of all her problems but that didn't subdue her anger at Oliver one bit. He hadn't stood up for her, for all she knew he might have even helped her. Maybe this whole thing was about humiliating her. Was he trying to play some sick game? She didn't want to believe it. She had seen the real Oliver and that person today? It wasn't him. So why did he do what he did?

She shook her head and let the tears fall. It didn't matter. She was done with him. She took her first sick day from school in five years and when she got home later that day she closed her blinds and shut her curtains tightly. Just like she had shut Oliver out of her life.

* * *

Well it looked like his plan to get Felicity out of his life had worked...he feared a little too much. As he watched her flee the cafeteria a hole formed in his gut and he felt like a little piece of him was missing. Tommy and Roy were staring at him like he had just won the award for worse human being alive. And maybe he had. In Felicity's book anyways. He jumped up from the table and went into the hall. Anything to avoid the glares and hollers of his teammates.

He started pacing before it became to much and he punched the wall. He heard a door swing open and he didn't try to compose himself. He knew who is was anyone and nothing would fool him. He leaned his hands against the wall and hung his head.

"I can't believe you did that you complete douche bag," Tommy exclaimed while coming towards him with quick steps. "I should deck you!"

"Please, it would probably make me feel better."

"You don't deserve to feel better. Did you see how she looked at you? You broke her heart Oliver and worse...you broke her trust."

"What should I do Tommy?" He asked, his voice high as he stood up straight and looked at his friend."I thought having her out of my life would be better for her but she hasn't even been gone five minutes and I feel miserable. I have to fix this."

"I don't know that you can." Tommy replied with a shake of his head, his voice low.

He ran his hands through his hair as he turned and stared down the hall. Where was she now? Was she alright? If he went after her would she even look at him let alone speak to him.

"Don't go after her. She's not ready to hear some bull excuse." He forgot Tommy knew him better than he knew himself sometimes.

He let out a shaky breath as Tommy started back towards the cafeteria. He turned back a few feet later.

"Word of advice Oliver. Stop trying to play martyr and let people make their own decisions. You don't have control of other peoples lives, only your own and so far you've screwed it up royally."

"Please tell me what to do Tommy."

He stayed silent for a long time until he finally spoke.

"Give her time, then go grovel. If you're lucky she may attend your funeral after she kills you." Tommy narrowed his eyes. "And at this moment I have a mind to help her."

He sucked in a breath and nodded.

"Another word of advice, pride has no place in apologies. Tell her how you really feel, or risk losing her forever."

"When did you become a relationship expert?"

"When I found out I had a sister." Tommy looked over his shoulder. "Speaking of sister..." he trailed off as they both watched Thea storming down the hall, getting closer and closer. "Thea may beat Felicity out." Tommy slapped him on back and started away. "Good luck."

"Oliver!" Thea screeched and he winced. He looked behind her expecting to see Sara but she wasn't there. That made him wary. The petite blonde was stealthy. For all he knew she would jump him from behind. Thea came to a stop in front of him, her hands balled on her hips. She was tiny but he knew better than underestimate her.

"There's so many bad names I could call you right now but that would be wasting time. What is wrong with you?"

"If you find out please let me know," he said as his hands bracketed his neck.

"You've done a lot of low down, dirty things...and I'm not talking about sexually, I'm so not going there," she shivered. "Darn Felicity and her contagious innuendos."

"Trust me Thea that's the last place my mind is," he assured her.

"But this is by far the scummiest, meanest thing you have ever done," she continued as if he hadn't spoke. "Did you have anything to do with the video?" She demanded.

"No Thea, I swear." He was desperately hoping his sister would believe him but if he were her, he wouldn't. Not after everything he's done.

"Well then I guess we have your ex to thank for it."

"I promise you Thea, if I'd know what Laurel was going to do I would have stopped her."

"Really? Sorry If I find that hard to believe. You let your boys in there make fun of her, with her standing right there and did you stop them? No. You joined them. That's real classy Oliver. When are you going to start being a leader rather than a follower?"

He didn't have the answers to any of her questions and just stood there silent. Thea was fuming and you could practically see the steam pouring from her ears.

"I thought I told you to fix it Ollie?"

"I did, but then I messed it up again Thea. Why do I always mess things up?" He gasped and hung his head again. Thea softened and placed a hand on his arm.

"That's a question only you can answer. I'm not going to lecture you. I can see you're already beating yourself up enough. But Oliver for the love of Louboutin get yourself together." He glanced up to see the fire in his sisters eyes slightly dimmed, a little less angry and more disappointed. "If you care about her at all Oliver, you need to make some hard choices. Maybe even ones you're not ready to make yet."

Over Thea's shoulder he saw Sara round the corner and he backed up against the wall, not ready for the third onslaught of berating just yet. Thea looked at him knowingly.

"Don't worry, I wont let her get you. You've had enough. But I will let her loose if you mess up again. Three strikes and you're out Ollie, you've used two."

Thea headed to intercept Sara but turned before she got out of earshot. "You've already cracked her Oliver, don't break her."

He was speechless as his sister left and his head was spinning with everything that had happened. Suddenly he felt someone nearby and jumped when he saw who is was.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to rip you a new one. Thea and Tommy did that enough. Sara on the other hand would have destroyed you. I managed to hold her off for a while. I'd still watch your back though. She's a wily one," chuckled Diggle.

"I appreciate it."

"You're not the only one who's made mistakes Oliver, it's what you do with them that counts."

"Is that supposed to make sense?"

"One day Oliver...you'll know exactly what I mean."

And then he was gone too. He wondered what the next few hours would hold and if he had made a mistake he wouldn't be able to fix.

* * *

"Felicity?" Her mom called. "You do know there's been a boy standing on the porch calling your name for the past five minutes right?"

She looked up from her tablet. "Oh really? Is that what that is? I thought it was cicadas," she said nonchalantly her attention moving back to her tablet.

"You're not going to do anything about it?"

"Nope," she said, popping the P.

"What did that poor boy ever do to you?"

"Nothing Mom, absolutely nothing," she answered from her place on the couch, hiding her balled fist under her thigh.

Donna tilted her head. "My beautiful girl, you may be a genius but when it comes to matters of the heart you're a little stunted. Whatever happened..you're going to have to talk to him eventually."

She closed her eyes and took a breath. "Don't you have a date to get too?"

Her mom looked at her phone. "Oh that's right." Donna came around and kissed her on the cheek. "At least talk to him. We don't want Mrs. Biel calling the cops."

"Yes Mom," she groaned.

Donna left a few moments later and she could hear her talking to Oliver on the porch. A few moments later the doorway was darkened by none other than the boy she had no desire to talk to.

"Your blinds are shut," he remarked.

"I'm wasn't exactly in the the sunny mood." She divulged , her eyes still on the screen of her tablet but not really seeing anything.

"That's not the Felicity I know." She stiffened. Did he hear himself? He had the worst case of hot and cold she'd ever seen.

"Well then you must not know me very well," she snapped.

"I do know you. You're Felicity, you're light in the darkness. You're bubbly and you babble and you don't take anybody's crap, you love you friends, you're loyal, smart and kind. He gestured to where she was curled up on the couch in a old Starling City Rocket's T-shirt, her wild hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. "This is not you."

She glanced away from him blinking furiously. He came to stand before her, taking a seat across from her on the coffee table.

"Ever since all this Duff stuff you've changed. You used to not let anything bother you."

"I've changed! I've changed?" She exploded. "Do you hear what's coming out of you mouth Oliver? If I've changed it because I didn't know where I stood, now I do. Obviously I'm at the bottom of you list if what happened today was any indication."

"Felicity I am so sorry. For everything. For what I said...for what Laurel did. I swear that I had nothing to do with it."

She stared him down, not sure if she could take him at face value.

"Please Felicity, you have to believe me," he pleaded, moving closer to her.

She had always loved the way he said her name. But even it didn't stop her from backing away from him. She turned her head but not before seeing the hurt flash across his features.

"I believe you. You've apologized, now that your conscience is clear you can go."

"I didn't come here because of my conscience, I came here because I hurt you."

"Why do you even care?" She burst out. "I'm nothing to you Oliver. We're not even friends. So please, don't feel guilty on my account."

"Felicity," Oliver sighed, his eyes closing for a moment before opening and settling on her. "You're right." She sniffed and started to get of the couch but his hand on her knee stopped her. "And you are wrong."

Her forehead wrinkled and her mouth opened. "I don't understand."

"You and I?" Oliver did his little head shake she had come to know well. "We defy explanation. You see me like...like no one sees me. You know me better than almost anyone else. When everyone else tells me that I can't do something you make me feel like I can do anything. I don't know why that is. So no Felicity, we aren't exactly friends...to tell you the truth I don't know what we are. But I do know one thing and that's that I care about you a lot."

He let out a long breath and she continued to look over his head, her gaze fixed on a old picture old the wall.

"Please don't let what Laurel did ruin what we have. You're worth so much more than any girl I've ever met so don't let yourself believe you're worth nothing. You're Felicity and you're worth something."

That was the most words she ever heard from Oliver's mouth in one day, let along ten minutes. He could have a career in motivation speaking. Still she was having a hard time trusting him. She didn't often give second chances. Did he deserve one? His eyes were pleading with her and she couldn't help but make it a little harder for him. She rubbed her neck. "Ouch."

Oliver's eyes widened in alarm and he sat forward. "Are you hurt?"

"Yeah, I think I'm getting whiplash from all your bull-crap."

Oliver looked up at the ceiling and laughed before pointing a finger at her. "See? That right there is my Felicity."

She couldn't help but noticed that he said _'My Felicity'_. It made her whole body tingle but she did what she did best. She ignored it.

"I know I'm a huge jerk. I've said that before and I hate to be a broken record but I am. I can apologize a thousand times but I just don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to be a better person."

She sat up and laid her tablet down. She knew Oliver didn't have the greatest home life. His parent's fought all the time and didn't really care what he did. He started to party and drink, that was pretty much the only that that garnered their attention. Things got worse after he found out his sister Thea was really his half sister. His mom had had an affair with his dad's best friend. It had been a hard time for everyone when it came out. She remembered how devastated Thea had been. She and Sara had been her pillars in the storm. They had supported her through it all, even when she had decided the best thing for her to do was move in with her real dad Malcolm. That had left Oliver to deal with his feuding parents that refused to divorce. She doubted that Oliver even knew that she knew so much about his life and she worried what he would think if he did. His hands were clasped together in his lap tightly and she reached out and put her palm over them.

"I know it's hard Oliver, anything that's worth it is seldom easy." She thought of what she should say, mulling it over in her mind for a long moment. "You're really good at football right?"

"Yeah...I guess," he shrugged his eyes on their now clasped hands.

"How did you get to be so good?"

"Practice and natural talent?" She slapped him on the arm.

"Mostly practice. The same goes for being a better person. We all have equal parts light and dark in us but it's what we choose to do with it that matters."

"How did you become so wise?"

"It's a gift." She said with a smile, momentarily forgetting she was supposed to be mad at the blonde hunk. It was then that she realized how tightly their hands were joined. She loosened her fingers from his grip and was pulling her hand away when she noticed it. His knuckles were split open in a few places and though they had been cleaned of blood they were still noticeable and looked to be very painful.

"What happened to your hands?" she demanded as she took his palm gently in her own to examine it. There were bruises forming, a dark purple against his tan skin and various cuts on both of his hands. "And don't say-"

"It's nothing."

"It's nothing," she spoke over him. She clenched her jaw. "What did you do Oliver?"

He looked away from her. "You asked me if I was going to do anything. I did."

She sighed. "I never wanted you to hurt yourself or anyone else, not for me."

His head whipped to look at her. "I do a lot more than punch people if it was for you," he blurted before closing his mouth. He hadn't meant to say that, that much was clear by the way he was avoiding her eyes even more than usual.

"Oliver, I appreciate it, I really do. But don't go hitting anyone else. The damage is done. I just have to make it a few more months and I'll be gone to MIT."

She had erased the videos from the servers but she knew better to believe that would be the end of it. This was Laurel Lance she was talking about.

"I didn't know you were leaving," he murmured, his brow wrinkled.

"Thea didn't tell you?" He shook his head. "Well, I'll be leaving for Boston a month or so after graduation. I got a full scholarship."

"That's amazing," he said genuinely.

She shrugged. "So you see, that's why all this isn't a big deal. All that happened, maybe it was for the best. I didn't really need to start dating before I leave for college anyway. It was just a disaster waiting to happen."

"So you're still interested in Cooper?" Oliver asked softly.

"Yeah...not that it matters anymore. He ran from me today, actually ran. I don't think he want's anything to do with me. After all that video humiliated him too."

"Felicity..." Oliver started. He looked to be gathering his courage before he plowed on. "If Cooper is really who you want then...fight for him. You've never been one to give up, don't start now."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Go to him and tell him straight up how you feel, if he doesn't reciprocate then he isn't worth it, he's not worth you."

She smiled and let out a breath as she nodded. "It's worth a shot I guess."

He smiled tightly before standing up. "Well...I...uh, have studying to do. Big Chem test coming up you know."

"Yeah, I know," she replied as she watched him back out of the room. When he got the door she called out. "Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"For what it's worth, I believe it you."

He stopped and considered her words for a moment before a small smile stretched across his lips. "It's worth a lot," he said as he slipped out the door, leaving her with her thoughts.

That night she reopened her curtains and saw when his light went out at twelve-thirty.


	7. I Fall In Love A Little Bit Every Day

The date was fast approaching and despite Oliver's 'dating rules' she still felt unprepared. That's why she found herself lifting her phone to text Sara and Thea, but before she could a text from Oliver popped up on the screen.

 **O:** _"Are you home?"_

She opened the message to reply.

 **F:** _"Yes, why?"_

 **O:** _"Go to the window."_

She went up the stairs and into her bedroom. Her white curtains billowed in the wind as she pushed the pane up and sat on her knees to look out. She glanced across the expanse between her and Oliver's houses to where he was already waiting for her at his own open portal.

"Hey," he called.

"Hi," she returned. He just sat there looking at her for a long moment, his eyes roving over her like she had the power to fix everything. He remained silent and eventually she had to break it."You know you could have just text me if you didn't want to talk," she replied with a laugh that immediately dimmed when she saw his face. "What's wrong?"

Oliver sighed and looked down as a yell carried through his closed bedroom door and drifted on the wind towards her. His parent's were fighting again. How did he deal with it? She briefly wondered if her parents would be the same way had her dad not walked out on them. Would she rather have a dad and parents who constantly fought or not have one at all? The question wasn't one that could be answered.

"Hey, you want to get out of here?" His head tilted to the side as he examined her words. Did he think she was asking him out? "Uh, I mean we can go somewhere...study for your chem test?"

"Sure," he finally answered with a nod. "I'll meet you outside."

"Well at least I got my workout for the day in," she murmured as she made her way down the stairs, grabbing her key's off the hook as she went before leaving out the front door. Oliver was exiting the gate that separated their houses when she came to stand in the drive. She couldn't help but notice the way the blue of his Henley matched his eyes.

"Hey...again," she chirped.

He opened his mouth to reply but stopped when the front door of his house slammed open. His Dad barreled down the walkway to his car waiting on the curb. Robert slammed that door shut shut too and Oliver grimaced as he gunned the engine and sped away. She glanced at Oliver who was avoiding her eyes as he walked over to her car.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather not talk," he replied tautly.

She held back a sigh as his words. She more than anyone knew the feeling. It was a good thing that she was a talkative person, especially since Oliver didn't look as though he'd be contributing this day. She thought of the one special place that she went to when she didn't want to face the world. Should she share it with him? She looked at the sad expression on his face, the hope that had been brimming in his eyes just a few short days ago fading by the second. She made her decision then.

"You don't want to talk? Well, I know just the place," she told him as they climbed into the car and pulled into the street moments later.

She hoped that she could bring some of that hope back, or else she feared he'd lose it forever.

* * *

"Where are we?" Oliver asked as he ducked under a branch.

"Arrow Pointe," she answered as she stepped off the path. She knew these woods like the back of her hand so she didn't fear getting lost, also the path didn't lead to where she wanted to go.

"I never even knew this place existed." Oliver exclaimed as he looked up into the canopy of tree limbs above them.

"I used to run up here a lot...with Dad." Oliver's stepped faltered for a moment before she could hear the tell-tell crunch of leaves under his feet alerting her that he had started to follow her again.

"Do you come up here a lot?"

"When I need to think," she answered without offering further explanation.

"Do you need to think a lot?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk?" She queried, slightly exasperated with the barrage of questions.

"Guess you're rubbing off on me, in a good way," he confessed and even without looking at him she could tell he was smirking. She was just glad that she was leading the way so he couldn't see the blush that worked it's way up her neck.

They fell silent as they continued down the well beaten path she had made herself for a few more minutes in until she reached her desired destination.

"We're here," she announced as she stared at the arrow shaped rock that rose about five feet above the ground.

"We're where?"

She didn't answer as she grabbed onto a branch to hoist herself up onto the rock. She heard a twig snap behind her and stumbled a bit before her foot gained purchase on the rock. She heard Oliver rush to stand behind her.

"Are you trying to hurt yourself!"

She peered over her shoulder to see he had his hands raised, just in case she were to fall. She didn't know why that made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. _'Stop it Felicity,'_ she warned herself silently.

"I do this all the time," she grunted as she pulled herself the rest of the way up then turned and waved Oliver forward. "Come on."

Oliver pulled himself up easily with those darn biceps and abs of his and soon he sat down on the edge of the rock beside her, both of their legs dangling over the ledge.

"You come out here by yourself?" He asked as he pursued the area from his vantage point.

"Yeah, why?"

"It just seems like a great placed to get yourself killed."

"Oliver, don't ruin my thinking spot with negativity."

"I'm just saying, if you fell from here you'd break something or worse, not to mention this place is really isolated. Haven't you ever watched Forensic Files or Dateline?" She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "I'm just thinking about your safety Felicity."

"Thanks Mom," she groaned as she peered over the edge of the rock.

"Can you stop that?" Oliver exclaimed as he grabbed her shoulder.

"I never took you for a worry wart."

"I have a sister."

"Ah, so that's why you've been so nice to me," she remarked, her legs swinging back and forth,her weight resting on her hands at her side.

"What?"

"You see me as a sister," she stated as she turned his way. His blue eyes bore into hers and she saw the second that they changed from mild curiosity to something...more.

Before she even knew what was happening her face was being cradled by Oliver's large palms. She could feel the callouses from playing football rub against the smooth skin of her cheeks which she was surprised to find she didn't mind at all. He moved closer to her, his hot breath fanning over her features. She held her breath in anticipation and she wasn't disappointed when a second later his lips pressed to hers. She froze for only a second before she returned equal pressure, opening her mouth slightly. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss and one of his hands moved to the back of her head to tangle in her hair and pull her ever closer. Somewhere in her foggy mind she noticed that he didn't take advantage of her, choosing instead to kiss her with caution rather than reckless abandon. Even so it was a heck of a kiss...which could have been because it was her first...that's what she'd try and convince herself of later though.

When oxygen became a necessity he pulled back, his lips still brushing her's lightly as they gulped in air. Her eyes stayed closed and his hands were still cupping her head when he spoke. "Would I do that if I saw you as a sister?" He whispered.

"Depends on your stance on incest," she retorted just as quietly.

Oliver's laughed softly as his lips nuzzled her cheeks, like a brush of hummingbirds wings and she had to hold back a sigh of contentment. She had never felt so cherished. Her whole body felt like a live wire, her every nerve alive and on edge and there was this feeling low in her belly. She had always heard people talk about butterflies but had never experienced it herself...until now. Is this what it was supposed to feel like?

Her eyes opened owlishly as he pulled back, his hands dropping to his sides leaving her face cold without his warm touch. Her fingers moved to her now slightly swollen lips. He blinked slowly as he watched her and the look of utter happiness was soon shuttered.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he apologized. If she hadn't just been kissed senseless then she might have taken offense at that but she was walking on Cloud Nine and couldn't find it in her to object.

"Oh...don't worry about it, I get it, you were just trying to make a point."

"Yeah...and it...it was practice," he concluded.

"Practice for what?" She asked.

"For...uh...step eight of the date plan."

"Step eight..."

"Yeah...you know in case you haven't practiced in a while."

She stiffened. "Is that what it felt like? That I...haven't kissed anyone?" She asked, her voice slightly strangled. On no. What if he could tell that she hadn't kiss anyone before? It would be humiliating if he found out. "In a while," she hastily added just to knock him off her trail.

He looked down at her, his eyes wide. "No, of course not," he objected.

She watched him closely to see if he was lying.

"I promise."

She nodded and looked back at the scenery. A bird glided down and landed on a nearby branch. She fastened her attention on the red bird hoping it would prove a good distraction from thinking about what just happened.

"Actually, you're an amazing kisser."

"You're not too bad yourself," she said lightly as she bumped his shoulder.

"Practice makes perfect," he said with a shrug, one of his arms going back as he leaned against it.

"Hmm..." she hummed as her gaze tracked the bird's progress around the clearing.

"Felicity?"

"Yeah," she said a bit distractedly.

"It really does make perfect."

Her eyes snapped to his, his blue eyes dark as they stared back at hers before dipping to look at her mouth. Her heart picked up speed in her chest and her lips parted upon his appraisal.

"I've never done anything half way," she announced. His lips grew closer to her's at her words.

"You shouldn't start now," he insisted huskily.

"It's purely platonic," she informed him, her small hand moving to his pulse point before drifting to his nape, her nails scraping against his scalp.

"Purely platonic," he agreed.

And that was when conversation ended for a while...a very long while. She never thought she could go more than ten minutes without talking, just like she didn't think she could go without air for long.

She proved both assumptions wrong that afternoon.

* * *

He'll never know what made him do it-scratch that. Yes he did. He'd been wanting to kiss Felicity Smoak since she'd fallen off the swing in first grade. Granted then it'd been in a different place. Now that he thought about it Laurel was the reason she'd fallen off the swing in the first place. Had Laurel been tormenting her all along?

Back then Felicity had been a loner except for him and occasionally Tommy. She hadn't gotten close to Thea and Sara at that point seeing as they were a grade below her. So while she was playing studious student he and Tommy had most mostly been absorbed in playing pranks on their teachers. She had been left to her own devices a lot but that hadn't kept them from being at each others houses from the moment they got off the school bus until dark. That was when Felicity wasn't busy building computers.

Felicity had a strong spirit so he hadn't really worried about leaving her alone.

But the day she fell it had been different.

 _He remembered hearing a scream, one he'd know anywhere and when he'd turned around from horse playing with Tommy he had seen Laurel pushing Felicity on the swing, she was begging her to stop as the swing had gotten dangerously high. Even from a distance he could see the fear written across her face. Felicity didn't like heights. At all. She didn't even like to pretend they were flying. The next thing he knew she was falling to the ground, landing with a sharp cry and holding her knee. He had took off at a run and when he reached her had had slid to his knees beside her, his hand automatically reaching for hers. Laurel had smiled and apologized before turning to Helena and taking off for another part of the playground leaving him with a small crying blonde on his hands. Felicity didn't cry often, in fact that day was the first time he'd ever seen her do so. He knew it had to be bad. His shoulder had pressed against hers as his hand moved to her uninjured knee._

 _"Does it hurt real bad?" He had asked._

 _"Really bad," she'd sobbed against her bent legs, her forehead against her knee._

 _"Do you want me to kiss it?" He had offered._

 _"I don't think it would help," she sniffed. Instead he put his arm around her shoulders."I asked her to stop."_

 _"I know, it was an accident. She didn't mean it."_

 _"Yes she did, Laurel hates me," she'd whined._

 _"I don't think anyone could ever hate you Felicity."_

 _She had peered up at him them, her blue eyes pooled with tears that soon escaped to stream down her face. He had wondered if her cheeks were as soft as they looked, so with his curiosity piqued he had leaned in and brushed his lips across her wet cheek bone. Some of her tears dried up and she'd leveled him with a blinding smile which he returned. He heard pounding feet and looked over the top of Felicity's head to see Diggle running across the field, Tommy at his heels. He was thankful his best friend had thought to do what he hadn't. He had been too worried about getting to Felicity to even think about asking for help. A moment later Mr. Diggle appeared, his face alarmed._

 _"Felicity, are you okay?" The man crouched down beside her. "Where does it hurt?"_

 _"She said her knee hurts bad," he answered for her and Felicity nodded, fresh tears filling her eyes._

 _"Do you think you could stretch it out for me? So I can see it?" Felicity stiffened but he knew her, she wouldn't back down from fear. She was brave like that. She slowly stretched her leg out with Diggle helping her and when it was fully extended she buried her face in his neck as she cried out. He squeezed her tighter and sent a glare at Mr. Diggle who had caused her pain. Oliver knew he had training in the something the older people called the Military but as much as he liked the man he didn't quite trust him with Felicity. But being he was the only help they had at the moment, he refrained from saying anything. Diggle continued to examine her leg for a few minutes before looking back up at them._

 _"Felicity sweetheart, I'm afraid you might have broken your leg. We're gonna have to take you to the hospital."_

 _Her blue orbs widened to the size of dinner plates and she immediately tensed up, her hand squeezing his painfully. "Are they gonna use needles?"She asked softly._

 _Diggle had looked at him and he had shook his head vigorously. Felicity didn't like needles even more than heights._

 _"The Doctors there are very good, they won't do anything they won't have too. Let's just wait and see okay?" She'd sniffed again and nodded. "Let's get you out of here. The office will call your Mom and she'll meet us there."_

 _Diggle lifted her easily into his arms and he had stood up, Felicity's hand still in his. "Can I come with her?" He'd asked hopefully, not wanting to leave her._

 _"Sorry bud, but you're going to have to stay here," Diggle answered and he'd hung his head. "Tell you what, I'll tell her Mom to call you once she's out okay?"_

 _He nodded and gave Felicity a final smile. "I'll be okay Oliver." She squeezed his hand and he held onto them until he had to let go, her fingers slipping from his grasp as Diggle had strode away._

 _Tommy appeared at his side. "Is she going to be alright?" He'd asked._

 _"I hope so."_

 _Tommy held up a football. "Wanna play?"_

 _"Not really," he'd replied as he brushed the grass off his pants._

 _"It'll help keep you from worrying." Tommy supplied._

 _"Sure, why not," he conceded with a sigh. His love of football had started that day as well as a deeper connection to Felicity._

 _He'd worried about her for the rest of the day and when he'd finally got to see her that night she was laying on her couch with a pink cast encasing her leg. They'd talked for hours about a lot of things. After awhile she'd fallen asleep and before he tiptoed away he pulled the blanket up underneath and after hesitating a moment placed a kiss on her forehead._

So if history served as anything he'd wanted to kiss, really kiss Felicity for a long time. That's why he'd taken his opportunity and when his lips had found hers for the first time he couldn't get enough. He learned all the cliché things people said happened when you kissed someone you really liked were true, fireworks went off behind his eyelids, butterflies fluttered in his belly and his skin tingled everywhere she touched him. His every nerve was alive and he loved it. He kissed her cautiously at first, afraid he'd scare her off and when he finally pulled back he didn't think he'd have a voice to speak but somehow he'd managed to get out some words he couldn't quite remember after they came out. He apologized he knew but he was anything but sorry, but the rest of the words were a blur. Whatever they were though had made Felicity laugh and he smiled. He counted any day where he made that happen a great day, add a kiss to that and it was a cheery on top. They talked for a few more minutes. She expressed a fear of being a bad kisser and he put that to rest very quickly. She was a phenomenal kisser and he was surprised to find jealousy bubbling in his chest. How many other guys had it taken for her to have that expertise? And why did he want to be the only one that had the right to touch her lips?

A few moments later her attention was taken by a red bird who was flitting from tree to tree and he used that time to watch her. She was beautiful, more beautiful than a woman had a right to be. His brain was foggy and he blamed her intoxicating lips. His whole body was on fire with want and it took everything in him not to grab her and kiss her again. But he didn't really have the right. Her lips pursed in thought and he could see her brain working. Oh no he couldn't let that happen. She had rendered him speechless and taken away every logical though in his brain. He couldn't allow her to get out of this unscathed. That's why a few minutes later after they both agreed that it was perfectly platonic and just practice her heavenly lips melded with his again and he couldn't help a sigh of contentment as his hands cradled her face again.

Her skin was soft beneath his own fingertips and he could smell her shampoo as he pulled her impossibly closer. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss and her arms wound around his neck making him groan involuntarily. But it only spurred her on and she practically ended up in his lap, her hands combing through his hair which he didn't mind one bit.

Time passed slowly and it was just the two of them. No expectations, no one begging for their attention, no one telling them what to do. They were free. The knowledge made him lose his last bit of control snapped and he kissed her liked he'd never kissed anyone before. His hands moved to the back of her head and his fingers threaded through her hair as he continued to slant his lips over her warm ones. It couldn't last long enough and eventually they both had to pull away for air.

Her chest heaved against his and he just stared into her eyes, blue on blue. His gaze didn't leave hers but he thought of where they were now compared to all those years ago and he realized she had conquered a lot of fears. She wasn't so afraid anymore. She'd grown up, right before his eyes, from a scared but brave little girl, to a strong, amazing and beautiful young woman.

Most guys after having an incredible make out session with a girl like her would pull away, but as he stared into Felicity's eyes, held captive by her gaze it hit him liked a ton of bricks.

He'd loved her. He was in love with Felicity Meghan Smoak.

Holy crap, when had he fallen in love with her?

Felicity laughed shrilly and said something about platonic circumstances and he just laughed but it sounded strangled. She reached her hand out to help him up saying they needed to start studying and he had one final thought before taking her offered hand.

 _'Oh I'm so screwed.'_


	8. In Between

Normally after someone kisses a friend it leads to an awkward period of time until the two said friends finally work their way back to normal. But she was determined that she and Oliver wouldn't have that time. She knew he didn't have feeling for her and so that was her deciding factor in acting like it hadn't meant anything...when it had meant everything. Oliver had been her first kiss, first when she was six and then eighteen. It meant just as much then as it did now. Even if it hadn't been her first it would have been special because it was Oliver. She was ready to admit she had feelings for him but she wasn't sure how deep those feelings went. Were they even feelings? Maybe they were just...stirrings. After all she had gone all of her eighteen years without a boyfriend. Maybe she was just starved for affection. Right? Still...his lips on her has felt-as cliché as it sounds-like coming home.

She and Oliver were unthinkable. They were from completely different worlds. He had a life ahead of him. A good life, college, a job, maybe he'd even fall in love for real...but it wouldn't be with her and that made her chest ache. The wants of the heart could be cruel. But even if he did have feelings for her he didn't need anything to hold him back. She wanted him to be happy. To live the life he wanted and not one that somebody else built for him. That's why she buried her feelings, whatever they were deep inside herself, in the deep recesses of her heart and refused to unleash them.

The real question was...when had she fallen for him?

She couldn't pinpoint a moment, a day or even a look that started it all. It was a mystery, a puzzle that needed to be solved. So even though it could have been growing with them there was only one thing she as sure of...and that was the day Oliver had kissed her, then and now was the day he sealed her destiny. He'd changed something inside of her, opened her up and made her feel again and the place in her heart, the empty space that allowed those feelings to roam free liked to entertain the idea that he could love her, that she didn't have a empty space in her chest for no reason and that he'd been meant to fill it. But logic liked to invade those murmured warning her he wasn't ready yet and maybe he never would be. Maybe he was hers but she wasn't his. There were too many unknowns.

She was young, she had her whole life ahead of her to fall in love, to meet different people, plenty of time to find her way in the world. But why did she feel like she'd already found her home?

Every time Oliver was in her presence her heart beat just a little bit faster and her world got just a little bit smaller, her most impossible goal became possible and her dreams became more that just dreams. She loved that feeling but she couldn't love Oliver. She wouldn't allow herself too. Was it possible? To deny your heart something it wanted? She didn't know but she was going to find out.

She was jolted into the present by the tweet of a bird and she didn't know how long she'd been lost in herself but he didn't seem to mind. She stared into his eyes, searching for any sign that all her agonizing hadn't been in vain and she was alarmed when she found something...the exact opposite of what she wanted.

Upon appraisal his blues eyes held a myriad of emotions, but mostly uncertainty. But when she looked closer she noticed there was something there... and she couldn't define it. When she tried it disappeared and was replaced with something that could only be described as realization only to be joined by terror a split second later.

Was he afraid she'd think their kiss meant something? If he did, he was right. But this was Oliver, the man scared of commitment of any kind. She knew their relationship was special to him, he'd already made some mistakes but she knew whatever they had was the one thing he didn't want to ruin. He didn't need to tell her for her to know it.  
So rather than wait for a conversation that would most likely end with a period of awkward silence she gave him an out and as they walked back to her car, him following her closely she made her decision to move on, to hope that her young heart was confused and that he wasn't her one chance.

Despite that decision though she couldn't help but feel that everything had just changed.

And that was exactly what she feared.

* * *

The next day she was putting books in her locker between periods when she felt a presence. She knew without a doubt that it wasn't Oliver. She could always sense his presence because a warm tingle would shoot up her spine. The feeling that raced up her spine now was anything but warm, if anything it would be described as bone chilling.

She and Oliver hadn't talked since they day before and she welcomed the reprieve. She needed time to think and organize her thoughts so she could come to a rational conclusion regarding her feelings for him. That's was something she could not do when he was only inches from her body, his blue eyes seeing right into her and his tantalizing lips smiling at her. That little mole at the corner of his mouth begging to be kissed.

She shook her head and reminded herself that she was not allowed those thoughts. There was now a 'look but don't touch policy' in place for all of her interactions with the blonde haired life ruiner. So when she finally decided to acknowledge the presence she she slowly turned on her heel to and came face to face with none other than Laurel Lance, flanked by Mckenna and Helena. She barely held back a sigh.

 _Oh this isn't good._

Laurel smiled a sickeningly sweet smile that she knew was anything but genuine as she came closer to her. "Fe-"

"Felicity," she bit out before Laurel could even get out the horrid nickname.

"I really don't care." Laurel snapped as she backed her up against the lockers. "I know what you're doing."

"I don't know what-"

"Don't play coy." Laurel barked before snapping her fingers. A moment later a phone screen was pressed to her nose and she had to actually back up to see what they were supposed to be showing her. At first the footage was blurry but it soon focused on a couple sitting on a very familiar rock. She gasped and her hand came up to cover her mouth. It seemed like every bit of oxygen in her lungs had been sucked out as she watched her and Oliver kissing in HD.

"You wouldn't," she breathed.

"You're right, I wouldn't...but only because I don't want to drag Oliver down with you." Laurel leaned forward entering her personal space once again. "Oliver may stray but like a loyal dog, he always comes back home."

It hurt to be reduced to a warm body. It sure didn't feel like she was the only willing participant when Oliver was kissing her. In fact in felt like a whole lot more than just a random platonic kiss of desperation. She shook that thought from her head as Laurel stepped back and rubbed her lips together, redistributing her lipstick that was already in pristine condition.

"Well you don't have to worry Laurel. He's all yours," she proclaimed but it felt like glass scraping her throat to say it.

"Oh I'm not worried. I just wanted to make sure you remember your place Felicity. In case you don't, you're nothing but a working bee in my hive," she hissed.

"You got the Queen B part right," she mumbled under her breath as Laurel started to walk away only to turn back around.

"Oh and Felicity?"

She sent her the strongest glare she could muster when you had Queen B and two hyena's staring you down like you were the last antelope on the African plain.

"What?" She spat.

"Stay away from Oliver...or pay the consequences." Laurel wiggled her fingers. "Toodles." She strutted down the hallway, her minions in perfect V shape formation behind her.

As soon as Laurel was out of sight she deflated against the lockers. She was in trouble in deed. If her growing feelings for Oliver weren't enough to keep her away from him then Laurels warning was. It grated against her every nerve to bow down to anything Laurel said but what could she do? Oliver had always taken up for Laurel. Did he know how she treated her? She didn't know but she wasn't going to be the one to tell him.

It was hard but the next few days she stayed away from him at all possible. She knew Oliver was starting to get suspicious but he didn't say anything and soon they returned to their usual behavior at school. They would occasionally pass each other in the hall and he'd nod and rarely he'd lean against the lockers under the pretense of teasing her while she grabbed another set of books. When that happened she was always sure to keep a lookout on the halls. She was starting to get jumpy and even started carrying all her books with her so she wouldn't have to stop at her locker. She didn't want to find out what Laurel meant and she certainly didn't want to pay the consequences...whatever they might be.

* * *

By the third day her avoidance of Oliver was starting to get extreme. They didn't even see each other in the halls anymore because she took alternative routes and when they had a class together she would come in at the last moment and leave as soon as the bell rung so he couldn't talk to her. She felt bad, she really did but it was Oliver. He was tough and it wasn't like he didn't have other friends. She didn't monopolize his time. She bet he didn't even really miss her.

One thing she didn't know was how wrong she was and how much it really was affecting him. But she found out later that afternoon. She was on her way to her Calculus class when she felt a bump on her shoulder. She sent a prayer heavenward that it wasn't Oliver and looked up from her notes and couldn't hide her surprise as Tommy Merlyn sent her a devilish grin.

"Wow! All that surprise for me? You don't have to be so flattered Smoak. You know I'm not afraid to talk to you in public, which is something,sadly I can't say about you in return."

She rolled her eyes and stopped, letting the flow of students walk around them. "What are you talking about Merlyn?"

"You've broken my best friend. He's all broody now." Her eyebrows rose and she tilted her head as if to say 'really?' . "Okay, he was broody before but it's even worse now."

"I'm having a hard time believing that's my fault."

"But it is. He's been real moody." He lifted up his shirt to show a bruise on his side. "He did that yesterday at practice.

"I'm guessing you didn't catch the ball he threw. That's embarrassing Merlyn."

"He threw it too hard and that's your fault!"

She sighed dramatically. "Tommy, I'm not his baby sitter. I can't spend every second of my life with him. He has you and Thea...and Laurel," she tacked on. "He doesn't need me."

"Oh but that's where you're wrong Smoaky."

"Don't call me that," she warned.

"I will if I want to and you can't stop me."

"You're such a child," she said with a exasperated sigh.

"Says the girl who's ignoring her friend," Tommy shot back.

"For the last time I am not ignoring him. I've been busy." She barely kept herself from stomping heel in indignation.

"You're a horrible liar. Always have been."

She hiked her bag higher on her back and started walking down the hall again.

"Hey! Don't ignore me now too."

"Tommy that bruise on your side is fixing to get bluer if you make me late for my class."

"Oh, threatening violence. It's hot, I like it," Tommy declared with a wiggle of his brows.

"Tommy-" She groaned.

"Okay, okay, point is Oliver does need you, he's better when he's with you."

"So what am I? A emotional band aid?"

"No. Felicity he really cares about you."

"I know Tommy."

"No I don't think you do Smoak. If you did you wouldn't be ignoring him."

She lost her patience then and whirled around. "Do you know why I've been avoiding him?"

"So you have been-" She sent him a dark look. "Shutting up now, please continue with your scary yelling."

"Oliver is Laurel's. If you're a girl who has anything to do with him then you're on her bad side and the last time I was there she aired a private video to the whole school."

"I never took you as a person who would back down."

"I'm just trying to make it out of high school Tommy," she said tiredly. "I care about Oliver too. I want what's best for him and that involves staying out of his..." and Laurels "Way."

"You know Felicity, you think you know what's best for him but you're wrong. You're what's best for him. Don't let Laurel dissuade you."

"I don't need Laurel to do that. I don't belong it Oliver's life. We're completely different people."

"You didn't think that when we were kids."

"Key word there Tommy. Kids. We're not kids anymore. It's time to grow up." She reached the door to her classroom. "Oliver needs to find his own way...I can't help him with that."

"But you would if you could?" She pressed her lips together. "Hide your feelings all you want Felicity but I know the truth."

"You don't know anything."

"I may not have a IQ as high as yours but when it comes to love I'm the Doctor."

"Tommy-" she started to object but he put his fingers over her lips.

"Shhh..don't speak." A conspiratorial smile stretched across his face and it made dread fill the pits of her belly. "I'm going to fix this."

"I really wish you wouldn't," she grumbled from behind his fingers before he covered her whole mouth with his hand.

"Nope, you wanted my help and now you've got it."

"I did not," she protested but it came out muffled.

"Don't you worry Felicity, Thomas 'Love Doctor' Merlyn is on the case." Anticipating a rebuke he his hand pressed more firmly to her mouth and she took the opportunity to nip at the side of his palm.

"Youch!" He yelped as he jerked his hand back.

"I really hate that you made me do that, especially considering I've never been a biter and I don't know where your hands have been but you left me no choice," she babbled before taking a breath. "Now you listen and listen good Merlyn." Tommy's spine straightened at her tone and she leaned closer. "I swear if you say so much as a word to Oliver or anybody else about this conversation I will end you," she said, her voice deathly quiet but no less stern. "Do you understand?"

He gulped and nodded.

"Good. Now I have class which you have now made me late for," she said as she opened her classroom door, throwing a smile over her shoulder as the door closed behind her leaving Tommy standing there with a huge grin budding just waiting for her to be out of sight.

He was proud of himself. He had almost got her to admit her feelings and that was like striking gold. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait.

* * *

"What's wrong with your hand?" Oliver asked him as he bit into his sandwich.

Tommy looked up from where he was pursuing the side of his palm. "Nothing," he said as he dropped his hand into his lap quickly. "Just learned a lesson is all. It was worth it though."

"I'm guessing there was a girl involved?"

"Yep, never took Felicity for a biter."

Oliver choked and he thumped him on the back. "Felicity?" He spluttered.

"Yep, you know she's a feisty one. Cute too. Why did I never notice that before?" He wondered aloud.

"You try one move on her and I'll end you Tommy."

"Wow two death threats in one day, that's gotta be a new record. I should call Guinness."

"I'm serious Tommy, stay away from her."

"She's not yours Oliver. You can't tell me to stay away from her."

"You're right but I can sure try," he said as he pushed his tray away.

"Wait a second, are you admitting you like her?"

"No, I'm just trying to protect her from guys like us."

"Are you sure cause it sounded-"

"We just had this conversation, I don't have feelings for her. Remember, I'm supposed to be with Laurel."

"Are you really that dense? Maybe I should let Sara loose on you."

"If I did...," Oliver trailed off and sent him a dark look. "It wouldn't matter, she's going out on a date with Cooper tomorrow night. She's liked him for a long time."

"Maybe her expectations won't hold up to reality," he offered as they left the cafeteria and headed toward their prospective classes.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe she just thinks she likes him but she really likes you but she doesn't want to admit because you don't want to admit it."

"How much time have you been spending with Felicity? That was a very long and confusing sentence."

"Just talk to her Oliver."

"She's the one who's been ignoring me."

"But she's not..." It shot out his mouth before he could stop it. "Oh crap", he muttered.

"What do you know Tommy?" Oliver practically growled.

"I know a little about a whole lot-" Oliver's fist clenched and the bruise under his shirt started to throb. "But I'm guessing that's not what you meant."

"You guessed right," Oliver answered tightly.

"Don't make me rat her out. She used her loud voice and threatened to ruin me if I talked."

"I'll ruin you if you don't."

The bell rung overhead just as Oliver stepped forward. "Oh would you look at that? I'm gonna be late." He took off down the hall like he was being chased by swarm of bees.  
He could hear Oliver yelling after him and he was thankful he was a fast runner. He wouldn't be able to outrun him for long. He just hoped Felicity would have an attack of conscience before he was colored black and blue.


	9. Until We Can't Let Go

The next night she stood in front of her mirror, smoothing down the front of her black dress. Her black eyeliner and purple lipstick may be long gone but that didn't mean she couldn't wear black and rock it. She swiped on some cheery red lipstick, rearranged a curl and dabbed a bit more concealer under her eyes before giving herself a final once over in the fool length mirror her Mom kept in the hall.

Her thoughts had been on Oliver constantly and she blamed him for the circles under her eyes. He'd even started to interrupt her unconscious thoughts. No matter where she went she couldn't escape him. What scared her worse was that she didn't want too.

When the clock had struck three am the night before she had turned and screamed into her pillow. Her mom wasn't home so no one was there to hear her. Or so she'd thought. Her phone had buzzed on her nightstand a full thirty seconds later.

 **O:** _"Did you just scream? Are you okay?"_

She had blushed beet red as she text him back, never had she been so glad for instant messaging than in that moment.

 **F:** _"Yeah, just saw a spider. Go back to sleep."_

She had put her phone on silent then and turned over. Eventually she fell asleep. That had been their only conversations since she'd started avoiding him. She thought of what Tommy had said. Did any of it hold weight? Surely Oliver was just fine without her. But why was he in a bad mood without her? She told herself hat there had to be something else going on to make him act that way. Maybe something with his parents...or Laurel.

Her thoughts drifted and turned stormy before her alarm on her phone went off, reminding her that she needed to get going. She stuffed her anger away and claimed that she wouldn't think about Laurel or Oliver for the rest of the night. Her red heels clicked against the hardwood as she descended the stairs, grabbed her purse and locked the door behind her. When she got near her car she was surprised to find Oliver sitting on the corner of his porch, paper's spread around him. Well that plan was shot.

"Hey," she called and he glanced up, immediately setting aside his work to join her near the fence. They each stood each on their own side, like most of their life as they smiled at each other. "Tonight's the big night."

"Yeah...I know," he said, his voice sounding a little strange. She shook it off and pulled at the hem of her dress.

"So how do I look?" She asked and did a little twirl.

"You look beu- great, you look great."

"Thanks," she replied, glancing over his shoulder to look at the book cluttered porch. "I see you're getting some serious studying done."

"Your notes are helping a lot."

"Good, I'm glad." Her phone chirped again and she lifted her keys. "I better go."

"Oh, yeah," he said as he backed away from the fence.

"Wish me luck."

"Good luck."

As she climbed in her car she noted that it didn't sound like he was wishing her luck at all...maybe even the opposite.

* * *

Cooper had insisted that he make her dinner for their date. He claimed he loved to cook so it wasn't a problem, she however was skeptical. But she tucked away her doubtful thoughts and tried to have a good time. She found herself relieved when she found that Cooper had set their places at the table across from each other. Oliver's voice rang in her ear reminding her that 'No kissing would happen' if you were across from your date. She swatted him away and tried to focus on what Cooper was talking about which she found quite hard. She soon found herself comparing everything about Cooper to Oliver and found him sorely lacking, immensely. His lips weren't the shape of Oliver's and his jaw, though it was square was soft. Even his brown eyes seemed dull compared to Oliver's lively blue ones. She told herself it was just because Oliver was all muscly and Cooper was...just not. Yeah that was it.

What was wrong with her? She had wanted this for so long yet here she was, sitting here with her crush...and she was bored out of her freakin mind. Thankfully later she was happy to discover that Cooper also shared her love of computers but much to her chagrin once he started talking about them he didn't stop. Like at all. The date wasn't going at all like she hoped but she was still determined to have a good time. She would not let thoughts of Oliver ruin it. Besides he didn't like her...not like that. So what they had engaged in some platonic kissing. She licked her lips as thought of the way his hand had run under her shirt, his palm pressing flat against the curve of her back as he proceeded to taste every inch of her mouth. She had found herself nearly in his lap as her hands had run down his back and over his shoulders, her breast pressing against his chest as she savored the feel of his lips and the warmth his body was emitting.

Okay...so it wasn't quite platonic but that didn't mean it meant anything. Oliver still had a thing going with Laurel...whatever strange toxic thing it was was none of her business. Just the thought of him kissing Laurel like he had her was enough to make her whole body tense and acid bubble in her stomach. Her fist clenched under the table and she ground her teeth together.

"Are you okay?" Cooper momentarily broke free from of his computer jargon monologue to ask.

"Uh, yeah." She pulled at the collar of her dress. "It's just a little stuffy in here."

"Would you like to sit on the outside?" She nodded and they both made their way outside to sit on the porch steps. "So you're friends with Sara and Thea right?" Finally a topic she could flow with.

"Yeah, best friends actually," she added. There was no need to tell them they weren't exactly speaking at the moment. Though Thea still emailed her once every few days to say she was still there when she needed her.

"That's cool. Were you guys planning on going to homecoming?"

"Yeah, I have to write a article about it for the school paper so it's kinda required," she said with a soft laugh.

He smiled. "Well I was wondering..." he trailed off staring down at his clasped hands.

"Yeah," she prompted. Was he going to ask her to the dance? Would she finally be able to dance with someone of the opposite sex?

"I was wondering if you knew if Sara already has a date." She sat back, stunned.

"Sara?" She exclaimed, anger and disbelief seeping into her voice.

"Yeah, I was thinking about asking her. Laurel said she wasn't sure if she was going with anyone." Cooper looked at her then and he must have realized what she'd expected because his mouth had dropped into a O shape. "You thought I was going to ask you didn't you?"

"Well I mean we are on a date right now," she pointed out.

"Uh...oh no. We're actually not." Her mouth dropped open too then. "I'm sorry if I led you on, I thought it was clear we were just hanging out. I should have been more specific."

She stood up then, her spine going ramrod straight. "So you only invited me over so you could try and get into my best friend's pants."

"I wouldn't put it so bluntly, but yeah," he admitted sheepishly.

"You...you," she spluttered. "You chauvinistic pig!"

Tears pricked the back of her eyes. It had happened again. Cooper didn't want her at all. He was using her, just like everyone else. Why had she actually allowed herself to believe he wanted her, just for her.

"So I'm guessing you won't hook me up with her?"

"You guessed right," she roared as she ran back up the steps and grabbed her purse and keys from the entry way before slamming the door behind her and running to her car.

"Call me if you change your mind!" She shut her door with a bang and backed down the driveway.

There was only one person she wanted to talk to and that was Oliver. She felt like her world was falling apart and for some reason he had the glue to fix it. Why was that? She tried calling him several time's but he didn't answer. She left a message telling him about Cooper as she drove, tears blurring her vision. She couldn't go home, her mother would be there with too many questions, one's she didn't want to answer, so she drove to her spot in the woods. Not caring that it was dark out or heeding Oliver's words about safety.

It was a full moon so she was able to find the path just as well as if it had been daylight. She wiped her tears as she stumbled through the brush still in her heels. Logically she knew she couldn't climb a rock in her dress but she hoped just being in her favorite spot would calm her at least until she could talk to Oliver. She had faith he would tell her what to do.

She pushed a low lying limb away as she pushed down the path. She was almost to the clearing when she noticed the figures on her rock. She eased closer silently and when she did she realized who it was. It was Laurel...and Oliver... and they were kissing. She turned away and rushed down the path, not caring about the limbs that scratched her as she fled, only wanting to get as far away from her worst nightmare as possible.

Why? It was all she could think. Over and over. She had thought she had kept her hope and hidden desires tamped down but obviously she was wrong. About Cooper, about Oliver, about everything.

What did that mean for her?

* * *

When she got home it was to find a note from her Mom saying she had another impromptu date and not to expect her hope until late, or at all. She couldn't have been more relieved, glad that she could now swallow herself in sweatpants and mint chip ice cream and wallow in her self pity. When had she become this person?

A hour into her pity party there was a loud banging on the door followed by Oliver calling her name. She debated on whether she should even open the door but decided against ignoring him. He lived right next door and the man was obstinate enough to stay out there all night until she talked to him.

She wrapped her house coat around her as she shuffled toward the door. The pounding grew harder and by the time she reached the door her anger had spiked to boiling levels. "Stop, just stop!" She yelled as she swung open the door.

"Felicity, I'm so-"

She put her hand up. "Don't apologize, you couldn't have known." There was a little voice in the back of her head that said that maybe he did, but even though Oliver was her least favorite person right now she knew who he was now and he wasn't the kind of person who would set her up like that...even if he was with Laurel.

He moved as if he was going to come in but she stepped forward, blocking the doorway. He looked down in confusion, his brow furrowed as his hand lifted to touch her arm. She skirted his touch and a shattered look crossed his face.

"Felicity, what's going on?" He questioned, his voice high pitched with worry.

"You took her to my spot!" She yelled, tears gathering in her eyes.

"What?"

"Laurel. That was my spot. I took you there because I trusted you and you just... how could you Oliver?" She closed her eyes briefly as she sucked in a breath. "I'm so stupid," she muttered.

"No, Felicity, don't say that." Oliver said while reaching for her again. He brushed his fingertips down her arm. She suppressed a shiver at the action by thinking about his lips on Laurel's. "If you would just let me explain-" She cut him off.

"No. I don't care, it's none of my business."

"Felicity please."

She stared up at him. "I don't even know why I try. What's the point? I'm never going to be good enough...for anyone."

"You are good enough Felicity, you're way past good enough. No one deserves you." Oliver said, his eyes pleading with her to listen. "The point of all this, of life is finding happiness, you deserve to be happy Felicity."

Her anger deflated then and all there was left was exhaustion, of everything.

"It doesn't even matter," she finally said sedately. "It's done, I'm done." She started to close the door but Oliver was fast and put his foot in it.

"Felicity-"

"Don't."

"Just leave me alone...please," she begged. "I don't want to talk anymore."

He hesitated for a long moment before letting out a shaky breath and removing his foot from the door. She'd never know how she did it but she closed the door and when she did, she closed a pieced of her heart also.

* * *

He had studied on his porch for all of twenty minutes when he couldn't take it anymore. He slammed his book shut and threw it to the side before leaning his head back to look up at the dark night sky. Stars twinkled back at him like they were doing some stupid happy dance. He squeezed his eyes shut and his fingers moved in their familiar tick he couldn't seem to stop. At the moment he was anything but happy. Just knowing Felicity was with Cooper was eating him up inside. She was his...yet she wasn't. He had no right to her, oh but he wanted to. When she stopped talking to him it had nearly drove him crazy, her babbles had filled a place in him and not hearing one for three days made his chest ache. How could you miss someone that was so close? Why was she ignoring him?

He drew his legs up and draped his arms across his knees as he got lost in thought.

Tommy's words floated into his mind. Obviously he knew what was going on or why Felicity ran from him every time he saw her. Question was... why didn't Tommy just tell him? Felicity would never really hurt Tommy...but could whatever she didn't want him to know hurt her? Did she not trust him? Obviously she had a reason not too but he had thought after their talk...their kiss that he had earned at least ounce of her confidence back. Apparently he was wrong.

He was confused about a lot of things but there was one thing that was absolutely clear...and that was that he was in love with Felicity...unconditionally, irrevocably in love with her. The question was...should he act on it? He was the worst option for her. She was smart and kind and what was he? A liar, a cheat, those were only two word to describe him. But when he was with her he wanted to be a better person...she inspired him. With her by his side who knew what he could do. But that was selfish. Add that to the list of his bad qualities. She was a ship and he was an anchor. He'd only hold her down if he allowed himself to pursue her.

But maybe...just maybe he could become the person that she deserved. It wouldn't be easy. Nothing ever worth it was, but he could do it. For her he could do anything. It was time he stop taking the easy route. Work for what he wanted. Make his own decisions rather than go along with whatever someone else had planned for him.

Reality came knocking...well more like screaming as a plate shattered inside the house followed by a shout. He held his head in his hands and took a deep breath. How was he supposed to make decisions when he couldn't hear himself think? A boulder lodged itself in his stomach and his hands balled into fist. He wished his parents could just get along. Why did they communicate predominantly by screaming and trading insults? Couldn't they just move on from the past and focus on the now and the future? Be happy? Was it really that hard? Instead they'd chosen to rip their family to shreds because of secrets and lies. Lies...they ruined everything and they always came out, eventually. He wished he'd learned that sooner in life. Maybe there was some truth to learning from your parents mistakes.

Another plate shattered causing him to spring from his seat on the porch and push down the walkway to his car. He cast a glance at Felicity's quiet house. All he wanted to do was talk to her. Maybe she could make sense of his warring thoughts. But he couldn't...because she was with Cooper. And if he was a nice person, if he really cared about her he'd ignore the voice in the back of his head and the part of his heart that was hoping that their date didn't go well. He never wanted to see her hurt and he'd had a all over bad feeling about the date in the first place. But if he'd tried to stop her then she would have knew something was up. He hoped his gut feeling was wrong as he climbed into his car. He may not be able to talk to her at that moment but he could go to where he'd feel close to her. The place that he now labeled their place in his head. It was where he'd first kissed her, really kissed her and where he'd realized he loved her. He wouldn't share it with anyone else...just like he didn't want to share Felicity.

He doesn't remember much of the drive but before he knew it he's hiking through the darkness, guided down the path by the light of the full moon. Leaves crunched under his shoes and tree limbs smack his face as he eased down the winding trail. Soon he entered the clearing, flowers and weeds slapping his legs as he made his way through the grass. He could make out the arrow shaped rock in the distance and he wondered if that arrow could point him in the right direction. The evening dew clings to his skin and makes his hands damp, but he still managed to climb up onto the rock. His legs dangled over the side when as he sat down on the edge of the rock. His hand moved to where Felicity would be if she were there with him and he sighed.

Lights from houses sparkled in the distance barely getting past the dense foliage, telling him he wasn't really alone. He could hear a dog barking in the distance and there was the constant snapping of branches from the various nighttime creatures but it was still the most peaceful place he'd ever been. He can feel the tension leave his body, his taught muscles loosening as time stretches on. He purposefully keeps his mind blank in hopes that he could just listen to his heart.

He doesn't know how long he sits there but he jolts from his tranquil reverie when he hears something...or someone making their way down the path. It was too big to be a deer and too small to be a raccoon or rabbit. The only person who knew about this spot was Felicity. Had she needed some thinking time after her date? Would she bring Cooper here? His stomach tightened at the thought. He listened closely but soon deduces that it's only one person moving through the forest. He slumped a little in relief but straightened up again when the moonlight caught a flash of blonde hair. His heart pounded in his chest in anticipation of being able to talk to her...touch her. He leans forward eagerly and when the blonde steps into the light he he deflates. It was not who he thought it was.

"Laurel," he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?" How did she even know about this place? "Did you follow me?"

"This old haunt? I've been coming here for years," she answered with a flap of her hand as she moved toward him and started climbing.. He knew that was an out and out lie. What else was she lying about?

"You didn't answer my question." He saw her jaw tighten but she continued to climb until she sat down next to him. He gave her a wide berth and scooted over and out of her way.

"Oh I just wanted to take a stroll," she said flippantly, moving closer to him, her thigh pressing to his. If he moved any further away from her he'd fall right off the cliff.

"Out in the dark? In the woods?" He asked incredulously. "Laurel you hate the outdoors and the dark."

"Well maybe I've changed."

"I seriously doubt it," he muttered.

Laurel put her hand over his and turned toward him. "No matter how much I change though, there one thing that never will."

"And whats that?" he asked with little interest.

"You and I," she said simple before leaning in so fast he didn't have time to stop her. Her lips were only against his for maybe three seconds but it was enough time for him to know it wasn't right. This was his and Felicity's place and she'd just ruined it. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away roughly, her mouth tearing away from his.

"Ollie! What's wrong?" She exclaimed, her eyes wide. There was once a day he wouldn't turn down her kisses. He'd taken anything she and any other girl would offer him. But that day was long gone. There was only one girl for him now.

"Everything. I can't..no I wont do this Laurel," he told her bluntly.

"What are you talking about? You're my boyfriend and I can't kiss you?"

"I'm not your boyfriend Laurel." She sat back at his words, clearly dumbfounded.

"You could if you wanted to be,"

"Well I don't want to be."

"I don't understand..." she trailed off before her eyes lit with fire. "Is this about Felicity?" She demanded angrily.

"Felicity is only a part of this. You and I Laurel? We don't work. I didn't realize it until I started thinking about the future."

"Felicity is nothing Oliver. You are I are the future," she purred as she grabbed his arm. He shook her off.

"You're wrong. Felicity is my future, she's everything Laurel, I was a fool not to realize it before. I've wasted so much time."

"What you're feeling Ollie is momentary. You don't feel anything for her. Not anything real like you and me."

"That's the thing, you and I aren't real. You only want me for my family's money, for what I could become and the status I could give you. You don't love me, you never have."

"And you don't think that's exactly why Felicity want's you? That little gold digging whore has had her claws in you since we were in grade school."

His anger spiked and he clenched his fist. "Don't you dare talk about her like that again!" He would never hit a woman but Laurel was severely testing his patience. Despite the moment and circumstance the thought of Felicity having 'her claws' in him was something he didn't mind at all.

"Felicity doesn't want me, not for what I can give her. She's been nothing but a friend to me my whole life, even when I didn't want her to be. Even when I treated her like crap she was there for me which is something I can't say about you."

"I can't believe you're letting her ruin everything!" Laurel screeched, her voice high. "I told her to stay away from you! I guess my threat wasn't good enough."

Realization suddenly dawned on him. "You threatened her?" What else had she done? His eyes grew large and he leaned forward. "You're the reason she-she," he stuttered. Laurel was the reason she had pulled away from him. "You've never liked her. Our whole lives, you've tortured her, called her names, humiliated her and made her life miserable! You hurt her Laurel! What kind of person does that?"

He ran his hands through his hair as he stood up from the rock and climbed down where he proceeded to pace in the clearing. "Why didn't I see it?" He murmured more to himself than to her. A moment from the past flashed in front of his eyes. Felicity laying on the ground holding her leg. Laurel had done that purpose. Way back then. He whipped around to find her standing behind him, visibly fuming.

"What was all of it for huh? Because you were afraid of losing me?" He shouted and Laurel flinched. "Well congratulations. You've officially lost me!"

Laurel ran forward and shoved her finger into his chest. "You seriously want that bi-"

"Don't you finish that word!" He exploded. His chest heaved and he backed away from her. "Get out of here Laurel before I say something I'm not going to regret."

She stood stock still, not even batting an eye as she stared back at him. "This isn't over. We're not over and we never will be."

"It's done. Leave and don't ever come back here," he said firmly but tiredly. Laurel stalked from the clearing throwing daggers over her shoulder as she went. He was done. Absolutely done with her. Why had he wasted so much of his life with someone like that? Scratch that. He knew why. Laurel was what he thought he deserved and maybe he did. But if it was the last thing he did he'd do everything to change that.

The peaceful area wasn't so peaceful anymore and he noticed that the dogs he'd heard in the distance earlier were now howling. Probably from all the yelling. He needed to talk to Felicity. He fished for his phone in his pocket but it wasn't there. After patting all his pockets two times he admitted in defeat that he'd left it in the car. What if Felicity had tried to call him? What if she needed him and he wasn't there for her because he was too busy with Laurel?

He took off toward the car and in trying to pull his keys out dropped them. He retrieved them quickly and fumbled for the unlock button on the keypad then practically dove into the car for his phone. When he found it and unlocked it he found three missed calls and a voice mail from Felicity. He cursed as he opened the file.

 _"Oliver,"_ she sniffed. _"I know you're busy but I just needed to talk to you. All your work was useless..It wasn't a date at all, Cooper was using me to get to Sara. Just like everyone else. What's so wrong with me?"_ She sobbed and it nearly broke his heart in half. _"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm bothering you with this. Please ignore me."_

Then theline went dead. He cursed before he put his car in drive and sped back home. He was going to kill Cooper. He didn't even care if Felicity didn't want him to. He had hurt her, he deserved to be hurt too. Repeatedly if he had his say.

When he finally got to her door he felt like it was a century before it finally swung open. He was surprised he didn't knock it down himself with all pounding and the neighbors probably would call the cops from him shouting her name. She stood there in front of him wearing sweat pants and a old t-shirt and hoodie. He sighed in relief when he saw that she seemed to be unharmed. Physically anyways. He could see the tears gathering in her eyes. He started to apologize but she stopped him, saying he couldn't have know. But didn't he? He should have stopped it in the first place. Maybe if he hadn't been a coward and admitted he cared about her as more than a friend...way, way more then she wouldn't be going through this mess. He moved towards her, planning on sitting her down and comforting her in all honesty he really just needed to hold her, but she blocked the door. He stopped and stared at her in confusion. He reached his hand out and his fingers just barely brushed her skin before she pulled way.

"Felicity, what's going on?" He asked worriedly, panic starting to claw at him.

Her tear filled eyes shed a tear as her face contorted into anger. "You took her to my spot!" She burst out and he straightened. What did- but she continued on before he could finish the thought. "Laurel. That was my spot. I took you there because I trusted you and you just... how could you Oliver?"

His heart dropped somewhere on the ground and shattered into a million pieces. He'd really messed up this time. He just needed to explain, then maybe she'd understand.

She took a sharp intake of breath and ran her fingers through her tangled curls. "I'm so stupid," she muttered.

"No, Felicity, don't say that." He said vehemently, his arms already reaching for her his fingers touched her warm skin a bolt of electricity shot up his spine and a warm feeling spread through his body. She didn't know it but she had become his tether to the earth. Gravity didn't keep him there...she did. She had to let him explain, she had to know."If you would just let me explain-"

But she cut him off. "No. I don't care, it's none of my business." But it was her business. Why couldn't she see that he loved her? He had failed her.

"Felicity please," he begged and at that moment he would have done just about anything to have her in his arms, to not see that disappointment and brokenness in her eyes, her frame not slumped against the door jam in defeat.

"I don't even know why I try. What's the point? I'm never going to be good enough...for anyone," she said sadly, a note of finality in her voice.

He couldn't let her believe that she was worth nothing when she was everything...his everything. "You are good enough Felicity, you're way past good enough. No one deserves you," he pleaded to her, hoping she would listen. "The point of all this, of life is finding happiness, you deserve to be happy Felicity."

She stayed silent for a long moment, staring at her brightly painted toenails. "It doesn't even matter," she finally said sedately. "It's done, I'm done." She started to close the door he shoved his foot in it. Every part of his was telling him to tell her now. She need to know how much she was worth but the words stuck in his throat. It wasn't the right time. He wanted to tell her under different circumstances. He called her name again but she just shook her had, blonde hair falling over her eyes.

"Just leave me alone...please," she begged. "I don't want to talk anymore."

He hesitated for as long as he could, staring into her blue eyes. He knew if she shut that door it would be to shut him out and that just about killed him. He didn't know what to do. What should he do? There were no answers. He didn't seem to be the person she needed and he hated that. He let out a shaky breath, tore his gaze from hers and reluctantly removed his foot from the door. It closed softly and the click it made just about had him on his knees. Tears burned the backs of his eyes as he stumbled down the steps and back to his own house. He couldn't fix her. But he knew someone..someone's who could. He picked out his phone and his second number on speed dial. She picked up on the second ring.

"Thea, Felicity need's you and Sara."

That's all it took.


	10. You're A Sky Full Of Stars

She regretted the words she had said to Oliver as soon as she had shut him out. It didn't mean she was going to beg for his forgiveness though. She spent the time after he left sitting against the wall by the door contemplating her life. She had made a huge mess. All in the name of being liked. She had changed herself to fit in with the crowd and it still hadn't worked. The truth was she would never fit. She was a square in a world of circles. The question was, was that really a bad thing?

An hour later the doorbell rang as she was lost in her thoughts. She put her second pint of mint chip down on the coffee table as she ran to the door, already preparing her second speech of why she didn't want to talk to him.

"Oliver! I said I didn't want to talk to you," she yelled as she swung open the door once again. But it wasn't Oliver on the other side.

"Thea, Sara? What are you doing here?"

"Oliver called, said could you use some friends," Thea answered.

Her lip trembled. Even after she had given him the what for Oliver still cared enough to at last call her friends. That made her feel slightly worse than she already felt.

"Are we still friends?" She choked as a tear slipped down her cheek. Suddenly she was enveloped by two sets of arms.

"Oh sweetie, there's nothing you could do to shake us," Sara declared.

She pulled back in their arms. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I'm not this person," she sobbed. Thea rubbed soothing circles on her back as she cried. "I never cared what people thought about me but then I got caught up by a stupid word."

"It's okay," Thea reassured her. "We all go through our struggles, none of us are perfect but even then Felicity you're the best one of us all."

"You're just saying that Thea."

"No, she's really not. Felicity you've got a heart of gold, you're a genius but you don't put people down or make them feel dumb. You're kind and compassionate, and you'd do anything for the people you love. And that's the thing Felicity, you're always so worried about everyone you love that you forget that there are people who love you."

She sniffed and Thea handed her a tissue that she had somehow magically produced. "I'm so-"

"Don't apologize again, there is nothing to forgive. You went through a hard time, we get that. Now we're going to help you put yourself back together again," Sara asserted.

She hugged her friends again. "Thank you."

"What are sisters for?" Thea asked. She smiled as her two best friends, good as sisters, tugged her to the couch. "So tell us, what's been going on with you?"

"I-I really don't know. I'm so confused," she said as she held her head in her hands.

"Does this have anything to do with Oliver? I couldn't help but notice you were going to yell at him." Thea asked.

She sighed. "It has everything to do with him."

"Did something happen between you two?" Sara questioned gently from her place beside her.

"No-well yeah," she blushed. Thea turned toward her and sat forward. "Something.."

"What kind of something?" She asked eagerly.

"We kinda-no we definitely did...kiss," she said with a shrug. Her body heated at the memory of his rough fingertips against the skin of her back. She jolted when she saw that both of her friends mouths were hanging agape. "Did I think that out loud?" They both nodded slowly. "Crap."

"You and my brother made out?" She didn't answer. Thea took it as confirmation and sprang off the couch with a shout of 'Yes!'.

"Thea!" She chided.

"What! I've been waiting for this for years! Do you realize all the sexual tension that we've had to watch?" Thea pointed at Sara.

"It's true, the heated glances across the lawn at parties, the off and on banter and not to mention that time you fell in the pool at Tommy's house and Oliver lent you a shirt," Sara supplied.

"What about it?"

"He lent you his shirt Felicity, then he proceeded to look at you like he'd much rather you be out of it."

"He did not," she denied. "We've been friends, kinda over the years. That's all it is."

"Mmmhmm..." Thea mumbled. "Friends don't look at each other like that. I swear sometimes I thought you were going to catch each other on fire from all the heat."

"You're full of it," she said as she crossed her arms and looked away, tears gathering in her eyes. "Oliver doesn't care for me like that and he never will. He has Laurel," she practically spat.

"Wow, somebody call the doctor because that was a lot of venom," Sara mused. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"That was not nothing. I've never ever seen you spit something out like that. So spill it."

"I thought...I thought that maybe he might feel something for me...just a wild thought and after my not-so-date with Cooper I wanted to talk to him. He didn't answer so I went to my thinking spot-"

"At night?" Thea exclaimed.

"Yes at night, man you Queen's and your safety issues. Now stop interrupting." Thea sat back and pressed her lips together and made a locking motion. "I went there and I saw him with...with Laurel."

"No," Thea and Sara gasped in unison.

"Yeah...he took her to my spot."

"Are you sure he did?"

"Yes, I'm sure Thea."

"I'm just saying...lately Ollie's and Laurel's relationship or whatever it is has been going downhill. Like they hit a box of dynamite and kaboom! That kinda downhill."

"I know what I saw Thea."

"I'm just saying that something's are not always as they seem."

"Are you on my side or his?"

"I'm Switzerland. I just know how misunderstandings work. Have you read a book? Stupid question. Point is those misunderstandings usually turn into epic love stories or tragic lonely endings because the couples never talk it out and then they go their whole life without knowing how the other one really felt and they miss out on this really amazing life and they end up living alone with like 3 cats."

"Thank you Thea, if I wasn't already depressed I definitely am now."

Thea winced. "Sorry."

"One, you're cut off from Fanfiction, cause I know you didn't read an actual book unless Cosmo and Seventeen are considered reading material. Two, I don't even likes cats and  
Three, this is not Anne Of Green Gables and I am not Marilla.

"You will be if you don't at least try to talk it out. At least let him explain."

"Thea-" she groaned.

"Okay, new topic," Sara interrupted. "What happened with Cooper?"

"He wanted in your pants," she said bluntly.

Sara blinked. "Seriously?"

"Yup." She sat back on the couch and lifted her feet to the coffee table. When they sat near the areas Oliver had been earlier she moved them away liked she'd been burned. "Duffy here can't even get a real date."

"Oh Felicity. I am so sorry."

She looked at her best friend's, her beautiful best friends and she realized something. They had always been there for her, through thick and thin, they'd never left her and they most certainly had never used her. She had tried her whole life to be loved by everyone that she had missed the fact that there were two people right in front of her that already did. They didn't have an ulterior motive to wanting her friendship. They just loved her and accepted her for who she was. She tried to look at herself through their eyes. A blonde who babbled and liked computers more than people. Yet she'd still earned the trust and loyalty of two amazing people. She was going to be just fine, maybe not right away but eventually. She had come to terms with who she was. If someone didn't like it, then it was their loss.

"It's okay Sara." Sara looked unsure but she took her hand to reassure her. "Really I am."

"How? With everything that's happened how could you possibly be okay?"

Unbidden something her grandmother used to say floated into her mind.  
hen her grandmother was alive she had a saying

 _"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth."_

She didn't understand what it meant until just now.

"Because I've realized something... I am me. This is me," she gestured to herself. "If I'm not good enough for someone then they're not worth me or my time."

"Yeah girl, that's the Felicity we know," Sara clapped and Thea hugged her.

"I'm getting there," she said with a small smile.

"Now back to the important stuff," Sara said as she rubbed her hands together. "On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your first kiss?"

Thea slapped Sara's arm. "Gross, that's my brother."

She blushed and shook her head. "Nope, nu-uh, no way."

"Come on, you gotta give us something," Sara begged.

"We're not talking about Oliver's expert kissing abilities. That's just weird," she said as she glanced at Thea.

"You just admitted he was an expert," Sara yelled as she pointed at her. She clamped her lips shut and closed her eyes. "Oh this is good. Hmm...well since you're not going to spill any kissing beans then I guess I'll just have to spill some of Thea's."

Her eyes flew open. "What?" She screeched.

"Thea kissed Roy," Sara supplied with a smirk and Thea smacked her with a pillow.

"When did this happen?"

"A week ago," Thea said, her face red.

"I want details."

"Nope," Sara wagged her finger. "You're not getting nothing until you fess up buttercup."

She looked at Thea and the blush working it's way up her neck. Oh maybe it was worth it. Whatever had happened was definitely worth it.

"Ten, definitely ten."

Sara squealed and punched Thea in the arm. "Owww," she grunted as she started rubbing at the pain.

"Okay so this girl," Sara pointed at Thea. "Just marches right out onto the football field, right in the middle of practice."

"I was getting sick of waiting."

"You've had a crush on him a long time," she noted.

"So she goes out there," Sara continued. "Grabs him and kisses him, right on the mouth, with God, both of her brothers and the whole football team watching. Then she proclaimed that they were going to homecoming together. The boy couldn't even speak. He barely managed a nod. Then she whipped her hair over her shoulder and strode right off the field."

"You didn't!"

"I did." she said as she slid further down into the sofa covering her face with her hands. "I blame you. You weren't there to talk me out of my stupid idea."

"I can't believe I missed it."

"You missed the panic attack after too," Sara said with a laugh and Thea sent her a glare.

"That's what I get from having a early life crisis," she groaned.

They all burst out laughing at her words.

By the end of the night she felt more like herself, but more confident. She had realized she was worth something and that she was important. She hated everything she had gone through to get to that point but it was necessary. Who knew how long it would take for her to finally realize her self worth if she hadn't.

Oliver was right about one thing...sure she was a Duff and proud of it.

* * *

He was laying on his bed turning Felicity's glasses over in his hands when his phone buzzed. He practically fell off the bed in his rush to answer it.

"Hello?" He breathed.

 _"Hey..."_

He sighed, it wasn't who he wanted it to be on the other end.

"Thea. What's going on? How is she?"

 _"Okay, she was victim of a sugar coma. She's asleep now."_ He ran a hand across his face. _"Ollie, what's going on between you two?"_

"Honestly? I don't know." He didn't. All he knew was that he just kept...hurting her. It was killing him. She should hate him...he wanted her too. It would make his choice to stay away from her that much simpler.

 _"Well I suggest you figure it out. You're breaking her heart."_

"That's the last thing I want to do," he said in anguish.

 _"I believe you. So why don't you do something about it?"_

"I can't," he choked, trying all he could to hold back the tears that were gathering in his eyes.

 _"Well...then you don't deserve her."_

He closed his eyes. "I know."

 _"Oliver...don't let what you think you deserve keep you from having what you actually do."_ He stayed silent. _"Just think about it."_

"Yeah..." he managed through his tight throat. He hung up and laid his head on his bent knee's. His phone buzzed again and he groaned at the name on the screen.

 _ **L:**_ _"So are we going to the dance or are you going to humiliate me some more?"_

His grip on the phone nearly cracked the glass as he typed out a reply.

 **O:** _"See you at seven."_

He shut off his phone.

* * *

He came into the land of the living by the sound of a deep singsong voice. "Wake up sleeping beauty...rather sleeping ugly. I gotta stop spending so much time with Thea."

His eyelids were heavy and they threatened to close again when someone started pushing on him. He groaned and swatted blindly at whoever it was. "Go away," he mumbled sleepily. He'd tossed and turned all night long and had only just fell to sleep around five. If the dim sunlight beaming on his face was any indication it only had to be going on eight o'clock and he was exhausted, mentally and physically.

"Queen, get up or so help me I will drag you from this bed..." the voice was closer now and he squeezed his eyes shut trying to feign sleep. "Well...I guess I'll have to tell Felicity how you really feel." His eyes flew open and his head lifted from the pillow only to smack against Tommy's with a loud thud. "Owww! What the heck?" Tommy backed away and started to rub at the knot already forming on his forehead.

"Sorry," he said as he sat up against the headboard.

"You have a really hard head."

"So I've been told."

Tommy sat in his desk chair and rolled a football around in his hands. "I was talking in the literal sense but I won't argue about that. You're as ornery as an old mule."

"What are you doing here?" He glanced at the clock. "At seven forty five?" He said with surprise.

"I'm here to tell you how much of an idiot you are."

"You've filled your quota Tommy. I get it, I do a lot of dumb crap. Can we move on?"

"I'm not talking about you run of the mill 'Ollie' shenanigans."

"Then what are you talking about?" He asked in confusion.

He stopped twirling the ball. "Laurel."

He cringed. "What about her?"

"You know what. You finally stuck it to her and now you're taking her to homecoming? Why on earth would you do that?"

He got off the bed and moved to his dresser. He turned his back to Tommy in avoidance while he tugged on a fresh t-shirt. "How do you even know about that?" He asked before he started to explain. "I had too. I didn't have much choice in the matter."

"Sara," Tommy stated. " And you always have a choice. You're just to much of a wussy to back out and really make your own decisions."

He whirled around. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You've always let other people make the plans and you just go along with them because you're too afraid to make your own choices." He opened his mouth to object but Tommy put his hand up. "Nope I've dealt with your mood swings and broody man pain for years. It's time I had my say." Tommy stood up and moved toward him. "You hide behind this idiot facade and you're anything but. You've gone after everything in a skirt just because you could...and because you couldn't have the one you wanted."

He breathed in sharply and looked toward the window. His fist clenched at being reminded of all his past exploits.

"You can do anything you want Oliver, the world is yours for the taking yet you've settled on doing what other people tell you because it's easier and you don't have to be responsible for anything that goes wrong." Tommy turned and picked up a stack of college letters off his desk and thumbed through them. "Harvard, Yale, Princeton.. You don't want to go to these schools. You want to play football yet every single one of these applications are filled out." He dropped the stack back onto the desk, a few papers drifting to the floor from the force.

"It's what's expected of me Tommy."

"Who care's Oliver!" Tommy exclaimed as he threw his arms in the air. "I'm so sick of hearing the constant 'It's what's expected of me' bull. You're worse than some of those teens on reality TV."

"You're one to talk. I don't see you living your dreams." Tommy pulled a folded envelope out of his back pocket and held it out to him. He looked at him a moment before taking it and pulling out the parchment. "Dear Mr. Merlyn we are pleased to inform you that you've been accepted into..." He trailed off and his head snapped up to look at his best friend. "UCLA?"

Tommy rocked back on his heels and smiled. "Yeah. Remember that out of town game a few months ago? I talked to a recruiter while we were there. I applied but I didn't think I'd get in. I was shocked when I got that letter."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Right now," Tommy supplied. He sat down on the corner of the bed, letter falling into his lap. "What's wrong?"

He looked up and shook his head. "You're going to LA and Felicity's going to Boston."

"Oh..." Tommy whispered in understanding.

"I'm going to be here by myself."

"No body said you had too."

"What do you expect me to do Tommy? Waltz right up to my Dad and say 'Hey, I know I'm your legacy and all but I want to go play football which is exactly what you told me not to do but I'm gonna do it anyways' He'd have an heart attack."

Tommy sighed and thought for a long minute. "Then compromise. Get a business degree. Built in backup plan right there. Then one day if everything goes differently and you change your mind then you can still join the family company."

"I don't think he'd go for it."

"It's worth a shot." He nodded and handed Tommy back his letter. "Just like telling Felicity is worth it."

"Did I not just tell you she's going to Boston?"

"So what?"

He rubbed his temples. "When has a long distance relationship ever worked?"

"If one ever did work it'd be the two of you."

"Doesn't matter. She can't stand me at the moment. I don't even know if she'll ever talk to me again."

"Do you know that eighty percent of marriages fail because of lack of communication?"

"You're really starting to scare me Tommy."

"Blame Thea," Tommy said with a grin. "She's trying to get me in touch with my 'sensitive side."

He ignored him and continued on. "Besides, me and Felicity are hardly married."

Tommy made a buzzing noise with his mouth and he jumped a little. "Wrong again my friend. 'Oh Felicity do you want me to kiss it better?' 'Here take the shirt off my back so you wont get cold.' Oh and my personal favorite. Remember that time at the Anderson's pool party in seventh grade when you ninja chopped that brownie out of her hand? Man her face was priceless," Tommy reminisced.

"There was nuts in that brownie."

Tommy pointed at him. "Exactly."

"Is there a point to all this or did you just wake me up to annoy me?"

"Both," he answered at he sat back down and leaned back in the chair. He couldn't help but wish he'd fall backwards so they could abandon the current topic of discussion.  
"I'm just saying you and Felicity have been connected for years. You've both have ignored it and I say it's high time you acknowledged it. Sure you guys aren't exactly on the friendliest terms at the moment but it's all due to miscommunication." Tommy put a hand to his chest. "One good soul bearing conversation could fix it all and you could find your happiness."

"I'm not good at heart to hearts," he informed him.

"Good grief," Tommy grunted as the chair dropped back to the floor with a thump. "I have a mind to lock you two in a closet until you figure it out. All the sexual tension would eventually explode. I'd give you guys ten minuets, fifteen tops."

His body heated as his mind went to a few days prior when he'd been to hold her...and kiss her. Oh he'd give anything to have that opportunity again.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"What?"

"Your face. It's pink. Is that a blush?"

"No," he rebuffed.

"Yes it is! Oliver Queen can blush. Oh this is just too good." Tommy said as he bent over laughing.

"Shut up or I'll shut you up permanently."

Tommy wiped a tear from his eye. "You know I'm starting to see why you and Felicity love each other. You're more alike than you think."

He froze. "No one said anything about love."

Tommy strolled over to his night stand and picked up Felicity's glasses before turning to him with a smug smile. "You didn't have too." He looked down at the spectacles. "I'll admit this is either really cute or really creepy. Do you watch Dateline?"

"Felicity doesn't...love me," he refuted, a burning sensation starting to tingle his thumb and forefinger from his furious rubbing.

"If you seriously believe that..." Tommy handed him the glasses and he held them carefully against his chest. "Then you're dumber than I thought."

He watched as Tommy left. He couldn't be right. Could he? It seemed impossible to believe Felicity liked him let alone loved him...in the way he wanted her too. In the way he loved her.

He lifted the lenses up and peered through the glass. If only he could see through her eyes. Then he wouldn't have so many questions.

* * *

Felicity, Sara and Thea spent the next day together doing 'girly stuff' as Thea called it. She claimed that a mani/pedi could fix a host of problems, from breakups to breakouts. She had her doubts about the last one. Her friends kept trying to convince her to go to homecoming, even offering to ditch their dates. She had begged off instead offering to help them get ready for the night.

"How are you going to write your homecoming piece if you don't go to homecoming?" Sara asked as she picked out a color of polish from her rack.

"I'll figure something out, maybe Mr. Diggle will let me off the hook," she answered as she plugged the flat iron into the wall.

"Hate to tell you this hon but Mr. Diggle may be your bud but he's anything but a pushover."

"Please, he's nothing but a big teddy bear."

"You got the big part right. Have you seen his arms? They're like twice the size of Roy's." Thea exclaimed as she wiggled her freshly painted toes.

"So you know much about his arms do you?" she teased.

"Yes," Thea giggled. "Quite a bit. They're very strong."

"Okay, come on, that's just gross," Sara whined and made a gagging noise.

"But it's okay for you to talk about Felicity and Oliver kissing?"

"I've been rooting for them for years. It's like finally seeing progress with my favorite OTP."

"I don't know what I find more disturbing, the fact that you called me and Oliver your OTP or that you're more investing in our relationship that we are."

"So there is a relatio-"

"Slip of the tongue."

"That been happening a lot? Maybe even with Oliver?" Sara grinned.

"Okay, that's enough."

"What? Not into french kissing?"

"Shut up."

"Any other scary facts you'd like to enlighten us with Sara?" Thea asked as she started curling her hair.

"I've been trying to think up ship names."

"Ship nam-Please don't," she moaned.

"Every ship has to have a name. Like Laurel and Oliver were Lauriver." Sara stuck her tongue out. "Yuck. I'm really glad that one crashed and burned. I think there was gun powder on that boat too."

"Oh my gosh. What is my life?"

"How do you feel about Olicity?"

She whipped around to look at her, glare in place. "Say one more word and I'll tell Laurel you were the one who put hair remover in her shampoo when you were eleven."

"You wouldn't!" Sara gasped.

"I would."

"What did Oliver do to you? Besides kiss you senseless."

"He showed me what I could be...if only I put a little effort in."

"Great, you were already scary, now you're terrifying."

"Speaking of terrifying. Do you know my brother is scared of you?"

"Which one?" She asked looking up from painting her toenails a bright red.

"Both of them...but most recently Tommy. He came home muttering about 'Scary Smoaky' while holding his hand."

"I didn't bite him that hard."

"You bit him?"

"He was going to sing like a canary. I had to do something." Thea shook her head and laughed as she returned to her own nails. "So how do they feel about you and Roy?"

"I'm pretty sure Oliver and Tommy have already threatened him within an inch of his life. I'm actually quite impressed that Roy hasn't run away from me screaming yet leaving me to go to the dance alone."

"He likes you...a lot."

"Like you like Oliver?" Thea inquired, turning from the vanity.

"Let's not go there."

"Why can't you just admit it?"

"It's counterproductive. No reason to want something you can't have. It will only hurt in the end."

"Okay miss Debbie downer. How do you know you can't have it before you ask?" Sara questioned.

"Logic and common sense," she replied.

"There are two things in this world that logic doesn't apply to... and that's math and boys."

"Math is plenty logical."

"Say's the girl that passed Calculus in ninth grade."

"It's really not that hard all you have to do-"

Sara put her hand up. "Please don't, I'm learning just enough to graduate and I don't need to get confused."

"That's not hard to do, you're blonde," she shot back.

"So are you Felicity," Thea burst out laughing.

"Oh...right." Then they all started laughing so hard that they had to hold their stomachs.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to homecoming?" Thea asked when they all sobered.

"I don't even have a date Thea, and besides I can't face Laurel..." _'or Oliver,'_ she added silently.

"The Felicity I know isn't afraid of anything."

"I hacked into the FBI once Thea and after that I didn't use a computer for a week."

"Exactly, you're so scary you scared yourself."

"Should I be worried that that actually made sense?"

"You know you love me."

She hugged the brunette. "I do."

"Does that mean you'll do something for me?"

"Thea," she moaned.

The girl poked out her bottom lip. "Please, don't make me go without my bestest friend."

"Suck that lip in. Flattery will get you nowhere and bestest isn't even a word."

"What are you the word police?" Thea barked out as she crossed her arms in mock anger.

"Help me out here Sara."

Sara stood up and sat down beside Thea on her bed and much to her horror poked out her own lip. "Please Felicity, don't make us go without our bestest friend," Sara begged, her hands clasped together in a pleading motion. She barely managed to hold back her laugh at her friends antics. "Did that help you make your decision?"

"That was not the kind of help I was asking for."

"You get what I give you," Sara smirked.

She crossed her arms and stared at them for awhile. Both of them pleading. "Okay," she finally said and both her friends started jumping up and down screaming.

"What's going on in here?" Her mom came into the room, smile on her face upon seeing her girls in such a jovial mood.

"Felicity agreed to go to the dance with us."

"Well done," she said with a conspiratorial grin at both Thea and Sara.

"Wait...Mom were you in on this?"

"Maybe," he mom answered before looking at her friends. "I told you the poked out lip works every time. It's her kryptonite."

Thea and Sara both started laughing again at her shocked expression.

"You girls better start getting ready," Donna said tapping her watch. "Fashionably late isn't when the dance is over." She looked up and pondered her words for a moment. "Then again I may be wrong, things have changed a lot since I was your age."

She shook herself from her thoughts and waved her hand at them where they stood watching her. "Get going," she shooed them. "I'll be waiting downstairs with the camera when you're ready."

Getting ready turned out to be fun and and hectic at the same time. They all did each others hair and makeup so it sped up the process. Thea wore a beautiful nude colored dressed covered in little blue beats across the bodice, paired with nude heels and a rose colored lip gloss. Sara was rocking a tight black dress with red accents and matching stilettos. Her hair was down and wavy. It was only when they had their hair neatly in place and their makeup perfect and she looked at them that she noticed she didn't have anything to wear.

"Oh my gosh!" She gasped. "I don't have a dress."

"I took care of that," Thea announced as she rose from her chair and reached into her closest to pull out a black garment bag.

"Hey! How did that get in there?"

"That don't call me Speedy for nothing," Thea winked as she hung the bag on the mirror and unzipped it to reveal the most beautiful emerald green dress she'd ever seen. Her mouth literally dropped open as she stepped forward, her fingertips running over the chiffon of the skirt.

"Thea I can't wear that, It's too much."

"I think it's just enough." Thea answered as she pulled it from the bag and helped her put it on.

"Plus it'll blow Oliver's socks off...or his shirt. Whichever you prefer."

"Sara!" She choked as she turned from the mirror.

"What? You guys made out. You can't tell me there's nothing there."

"It was platonic," she countered but the denial sounded weak even to her own ears. She smoothed her hands down the front of her dress to rid herself of some of her nervous energy.

"His hand was under your shirt," Sara pointed out as she fastened a silver necklace around her throat. She sent her a glare in the mirror as she put in her earrings.

"As awesome as it is that you and my brother have 'something' going on I would rather not hear about his...sexual needs and preferences," Thea requested.

She smacked Thea lightly. "We kissed, there was nothing sexual about it."

"Are we talking about the same Oliver here? My brother Oliver Jonas Queen-"

"That could make eating a ice cream cone sexual," Sara interjected.

"Ewww! Sara!" Thea shouted as she covered her ears.

"It's not gross if it's true."

"It's my brother, true or not it's still gross. Especially when he's interested in my best friend."

"He's not interested in me," she protested for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Felicity my brother's had a thing for you since he was five years old."

"He did not."

"Does too."

"Okay children," Sara broke in. "You don't believe her Felicity then why don't you find out yourself."

"And just how do you suggest I do that?"

"Ask him of course."

"You're joking right?" She asked incredulously.

"Nope I'm as dead serious as that run over possum we saw on the way here." She and Thea wrinkled their noses and shuddered. "Too graphic?"

"Just a smidge," Thea said as she lifted two fingers up that were a milometer apart.

"So what? You're saying I should just go up and ask him point blank if he likes me?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"I can't do that Sara. I can't handle much more rejection. Especially not from him."

"He won't reject you."

"You can't know that."

"Yes I can, I'm as sure of it as I am that I'm going to be godmother of your future children."

"Hey! What makes you think you'll be godmother?" Thea shrieked.

"You're Oliver's sister. You have a built in position. That makes you the Aunt and me the Godmother."

"Um guys...guys!" They kept talking and she put her hand in her mouth and whistled loud enough they both covered their ears. "You're getting a little ahead of yourself."

"Do you think we're too far ahead Thea?"

"Nope, not at all." She responded to Sara before turning to her. "I've already started on the baby quilt. If you have a girl you're going to name her middle name Dearden right? It's a Queen family tradition."

"This is going too far," she declared.

"Seeing as you're standing here and not in a school closet making out I tend to disagree," Sara chimed in.

She rolled her eyes and took a breath before glancing at her phone screen. "Oh would you look at that. It's time to go." She rushed from the room like her dress was on fire.

"Oh you look gorgeous!" Her mother cried from the bottom of the stairs as she made her way down.

"Thanks Mom," she said as she pressed a kiss to her mom's cheek.

"You'll ruin your lipstick," her mother warned.

She pressed a finger to her lips and it came away clean. "Smudge free."

"Perfect for making out," Sara added as she handed her the clutch she had left upstairs. She almost growled but Thea descended the stairs and her Mom was soon arranging them for what seemed like a hundred photos. When they finally managed to escape. They were all seeing stars from the camera's flash.

"Good thing we're not driving." Thea announced as they strolled down the drive to the waiting limousine. "I can't see."

"What about your dates?" She asked as they slid inside.

"We're meeting them at the dance," Thea informed her. "This my dears is all for us."

The car was filled with chatter the whole way to the school but she didn't feel much like talking. She was too nervous. Sara and Thea noticed and didn't try to draw her into the conversation instead leaving her to gather her thoughts. Should she say anything to him? Or would it ruin whatever it was they had going on if he found out? She thought of their kiss again. Yeah that plan was pretty much shot the moment that made out on a rock in the woods. It was kinda romantic now that she thought about it.

"We're here," Thea squealed as the car came to a stop pulling her from her silent musings. They all climbed from the car and when they got to the door Sara stopped abruptly in front of her.

"Sara, what-"

"Listen Felicity, as soon as you walk through these doors the old you is done and in her place is the new confident, don't take anyone's crap,especially Laurel's Felicity... got it?" She nodded, a little scared of Sara's voice.

"Good, cause you're going to woman up, walk in there and take what's yours."

"He's not a piece of proper-"

"Shush and do what I say." Sara grabbed her arm and dragged her inside.

Coming from dark to light temporarily blinded her and she had to squint until she got her bearings. She heard a whistle come from behind her and turned to find Tommy Merlyn.

"Does anyone here that sizzling noise?" Tommy cupped his ear. "It can't be coming from where I think it is." He stepped to Sara's side and looked at her with a smirk. "Oh but is. You Felicity... are Smoakin hot."

"Haha, like I haven't heard that one before Merlyn," she retorted with her new found confidence. She leaned over and whispered to Thea. "I actually haven't heard that one before."

Thea choked back her giggles. Sara gave her another stare down before she and Tommy disappeared into the crowd. A moment later Roy appeared and kissed Thea's cheek after telling the both of them that they looked beautiful.

"I'll stay with yo-" Thea started.

"No, go have fun," she encouraged her while smoothing a hand down the front of her dress.

"Felicity..."

"I'm serious," she stressed.

"You'll be okay?"

"Sure, if you can't find me I'm probably hiding in the writing lab." Thea opened her mouth and stepped closer to her before she sighed. "Thea I'm fine, go." It took some convincing but she finally persuaded her to go and soon she saw her and Roy enter the dance floor.

She glanced around the room but there was no sign of Oliver. Maybe she should just sit down. It was when she was turning that she caught a pair of blue eyes that were trained on her intently. She'd know those eyes anywhere, even in the pitch black. Okay so maybe not then because it was kinda impossible to see in the dark unless you were a animal or had special night gear and shutting up now, she cut off her inner ramble.

She took a trembling breath and she started forward, putting all her focus into not tripping over the long skirt of her dress. She took her time examining him in his suit as she moved towards him. Oliver in tux was her new favorite thing. She was pleased when he met her halfway and they both stopped and stared at one another appreciatively.

"You look beautiful," he announced, his voice light but full with meaning. Could that be a good sign?

"Thanks, so do you." She winced and closed her eyes. "I don't mean you're beautiful, not that you aren't cause you totally are but I meant something else. I meant handsome," she finished finally as she sucked in a breath.

 _'Come on Smoak, where's that confidence you had earlier?_ ' She chastised herself.

Oliver squeezed her shoulder and she opened her eyes with a smile.

"You look very handsome," she said and was thrilled when her voice came out even.

He stared down at her in wonder, making her cheeks tinge pink. "Thank you."

She gathered her courage and managed to swallow once before she opened her mouth. "Oliver, I kinda have something to tell you."

"Really?" He asked, his curiosity piqued.

"You know how we said it was just platonic between us?"

"Yeah..." he hedged. She plowed ahead.

"What would you say if I told you I didn't want platonic?" His lips parted and his face remained impassive. Had she read the situation wrong? Oh she was going to kill Sara and Thea. She opened her mouth to backtrack when a dramatic gasp sounded from behind her. Laurel who looked as beautiful as ever came around to stand at Oliver's side, sliding a arm around his waist.

"Aren't you just the most handsome man here," she exclaimed as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving a her mark. "I'm so glad your mine." Oliver's face froze and his mouth opened before Laurel turned to her in mock surprise. "Fe, how wonderful to see you. I didn't expect you to come."

"Well what can I say. I have two very persuasive best friends."

Laurels eyes lowered down her frame, sweeping over her with her critical eye, no doubt with a snide remark poised on her tongue.

"I'm so glad you could make it," she answered in her sugary sweet tone. "Do you remembered what we talked about the other day?"

"Hmmm...let me think." She put a finer to her lips. "You know I don't remember. You'll have to remind me," she said snarkily. She noticed Oliver's lips twitch and it caused her to smile wider.

Laurel's sweet facade shattered like a bullet through glass then. "You little bi-"

"Call me what you want, loser, nerd, gold digging whore...duff. I really don't care. That's your perception of me, not mine and if I'm being perfectly honest then I'd have to admit that I really don't care what you think Laurel. Sure I'm a Duff..." She paused to glance at Oliver who was watching her closely. "Everyone is. Believe it or not to someone you are too. So you can threaten me and make my life miserable but that won't change the person I am, it only makes me stronger. I guess I can think you for that, because if you hadn't I wouldn't be standing here today...finally done with your crap." Laurel's mouth dropped open and Oliver's stretched into a grin.

Laurel's face twisted and she leaned forward. "Why you-" She not-so-regrettably got cut off when Principal Steele announced they would be crowing the Homecoming King and Queen. Laurel grabbed Oliver's jacket with force and dragged him behind her towards the front. He looked behind him the the whole way, starring at her, a torn expression marring his features.

* * *

He'd only gone with Laurel to avoid her wrath. He didn't feel like having to deal with her or the whole school talking about why the King and Queen didn't attend together. His every thought was on Felicity and every time Laurel spoke her words went in one ear and out the other. He was grateful when she finally walked off to consort with her two lackeys, Helena and McKenna, the latter shot him a glare over her shoulder.

He tugged at his tie as he turned away and looked around the room. His eyes were only for one person and she didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. Her glasses, who he couldn't seem to part with were burning a hole in his jacket pocket. Maybe she wasn't coming. He had texted Thea earlier but she had never replied. His leg started to jump and he was about to ditch the whole blasted event when he got a flash of dark green and gold. His gaze jerked to find the person he sought. She was beautiful to say the least.

The emerald dress hugged her curves in all the right places, red toenails peeked out from under her hem and matched her lips. Her golden tresses were perfectly curled and her makeup light but still elegant, leaving her porcelain skin glowing.

When she turned and her blue eyes met his he admitted it. He was done for and he didn't mind at all. Why couldn't he fall in love with someone that wasn't so perfect? His feet moved towards her on their own accord and it took everything not to crush his lips to her ruby red ones when he was close enough.

"You look beautiful," he said barely above a whisper.

"Thanks, so do you," she replied before catching her gaffe. Man he loved it when she babbled. He couldn't keep the grin from his face as she tried to dig herself from her hole without success. He squeezed her shoulder and she smiled at him.

"You look very handsome." His heart beat double at his words. He had known she was attracted to him, physically at least but that didn't mean anything. Though he could say the same what he wanted from her was far more than just the physically aspects. He wanted everything, all of her.

"Thank you," he replied a beat later, his heart pounding in his ears. He watched her and he could tell that she was gathering her courage to say something. But what? He dared not hope for what he wanted it to be lest he be disappointed beyond repair.

"Oliver, I kinda have something to tell you."

"Really?" He asked, his voice somehow came out calm.

"You know how we said it was just platonic between us?" His mouth went dry and his palms started to get clammy.

"Yeah..." he trailed off, scared to say anything further.

"What would you say if I told you I didn't want platonic?" His lips parted and he felt like everything around them had frozen in time. All the air had somehow escape his lungs and he felt like his how body felt like it was buzzing with energy. Did she just say what he thought she said? She wanted more than platonic? She wanted him? He could hardly believe it. His hopes got dashed when the little voice in the back of his mind warned him that he wasn't worth her.

Felicity's face went pale and her mouth opened probably to pull her words back when  
a dramatic gasp sounded from behind her. Much to his horror Laurel came around to stand at his side, sliding a arm around his waist. His whole body stiffened and he didn't think he could move if he wanted too.

"Aren't you just the most handsome man here," Laurel exclaimed as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, no doubt leaving a thick layer of ugly brown lipstick on his skin. "I'm so glad your mine." He would have hated to see the look on his face then. He was most certainly not hers and she knew it too. She was just trying to hurt Felicity further. He wasn't going to stand for it. He opened his mouth to opened before Laurel turned to Felicity and expressed her surprise at seeing her there. She have her a cursory glance over and he could see her lips twist in happiness as she believe Felicity not to measure up against her. Laurel couldn't be more wrong.

Felicity answer nicely, even after all Laurel had done to her. She was truly one of a kind. He thought she may just get out of this alive when Laurel had to go and say something that made his anger spike to boiling range.

"Do you remembered what we talked about the other day?" He jerked away from her grasp then and what about to light into her when Felicity's shoulder's went back and her chin moved up. She oozed confidence.

"Hmmm...let me think." Felicity put a tiny finger to her lips. "You know I don't remember. You'll have to remind me," she replied snarkily. His lips twitched and he had to press his lips together tightly to hold back a laugh. Felicity smiled and her eyes twinkled. Oh how he loved her.

Laurel's sweet facade ended there as she exploded. "You little bi-"

Felicity cut her off. "Call me what you want, loser, nerd, gold digging whore...duff. I really don't care. That's your perception of me, not mine and if I'm being perfectly honest then I'd have to admit that I really don't care what you think Laurel. Sure I'm a Duff..."

He couldn't tear his gaze from her as she spoke passionately, not hint of doubt coloring her tone. When she paused and looked at him his heart nearly burst with pride.

"Everyone is. Believe it or not to someone you are too. So you can threaten me and make my life miserable but that won't change the person I am, it only makes me stronger. I guess I can think you for that, because if you hadn't I wouldn't be standing here today...finally done with your crap."

He had never been prouder of anyone in his entire life. Felicity had taken care of herself. Just like he always knew she could. He'd give anything and do anything to protect her but she'd just proved that she was strong enough without him. He thought of her earlier words. He didn't want platonic, he wanted so much more. Maybe he could take the chance. Trust that she knew what was best for herself.

His thoughts and Laurel's reply got caught off as Principal Steele announced something he didn't quite catch. Laurel grabbed his jacket and quite literally dragged him behind her towards the crowd of people waiting for them.

His eyes sought Felicity's hungrily and a pang shot through his chest. The next minutes passed in a blur and when he finally rejoined the present his choice was resolute.

After all...there was no choice to make.

* * *

She watched him walk away and she felt like he had taken her heart with her. Thea and Sara appeared at her side. "How did it go?" Thea asked, a gentle hand on her back.

"It didn't."

"You didn't tell him?" Sara asked.

"I did...he just didn't say anything."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I told him and his mouth dropped open and then...nothing. Laurel interrupted us but...I don't know if he would have said anything even if she hadn't."

"Oh Felicity."

"It's okay Thea," she said while wrapping an arm around her friends shoulder. "I was brave, I shared my feelings and now I won't have to live with the what if." Thea's face fell. "I'm okay Thea...really I'm happy."

The room erupted with clapping as Laurel took the stage a bouquet of roses being handed to her and a crown placed on her head.

She was tempted to be bitter about the whole thing. After all she had finally found what she wanted only to be too late. Story of her life. Instead of being angry though she as going to choose to be happy. Life was too short to be anything but.

When she turned from looking at Thea she noticed Oliver's eyes were on her from across the room. She smiled wanly and clapped when Principal Steele called his name for Homecoming King. She expected his eyes to tear from her's any second so that he could collect his title but he didn't. In fact his gaze stayed fixed on her's despite his name being called two more times.

Laurel was starting to look panicked on stage and smiled largely as she touched her crown nervously. Her mouth formed Oliver's name but she didn't hear it because her gaze was back on him.

"Aren't you going to get your crown?" She called over the music.

He shook his head and a smile split his face as he put a foot in her direction. "No, I'm going to get the girl," he announced as he strode across the room. Sara and Thea backed away just in time for him to grab her face and kiss her.

As soon as his lips touched hers the rest of the world fell away, it was just the two of them, sharing their every emotion through the press of their lips. This time when he kissed her he didn't hold back. He gave her everything and she did the same.  
She realized she would never need words of declaration if Oliver always kissed her that way. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she rose on her toes, her hand moving to the back of his head to pull him closer.

What seemed like hours but could have been seconds they finally pulled apart, Oliver rested his forehead against her's and his thumb stroked the side of her face.

"I don't want platonic either," he whispered. "I haven't wanted it for years."

"What took you so long then?"

"I promise I'll never make you wait that long again."

"See that you don't."

"I love you Felicity." Her heart stuttered in her chest then and she couldn't control the giddy smile that stretched her face. It hit her then that all those years of 'ignoring' Oliver had really been her way of avoiding her feeling's for him. She hadn't even recognized that those hidden feelings were love until thought she had lost him. Even at that point she hadn't wanted to admit it, rather choosing to drown her sorrows in a bucket of Ice Cream.

He was her everything. Sometimes it takes your whole life to find that person and sometimes you never do. Maybe you're not made to love but it finds you, maybe you crave it but it evades you. So despite everything logical thought telling you not to hope, you live every day expecting everything to change, for that serendipity moment, for that spectacular earth shattering instant where your whole life changes. Maybe you bump into your soul made in a coffee shop and you look at each other and just...know or maybe they've been right in front of you all along and you've only just realized it. And once every blue moon everything just comes together and you know without a shadow of a doubt that it was always meant to be. That the moment you were born that person was yours. There would never be anyone else and it would be pointless to search for another. Because they ruined the ability for there to be another, they took your heart and regardless if they want it or not they have it.

That why when the next words fell from her lips, they rang true and weren't hard to say at all. In fact it felt as easy as breathing and when those three words finally escaped the ironclad hold she had kept on them for years she finally understood what it felt like to be free.

"I love you." Those words sealed her fate. Oliver's lips pressed to her skin before he pressed his forehead to hers and he let out a long sigh. A slow song started up and he wrapped his arms around her.

"But you don't dance," she interjected and he chuckled.

"I told you once there was a lot of things I'd do for you." She smiled and tucked her head under his chin. "You're my first actually." She nearly choked before she burst out laughing. She pulled back to look at him she could tell he was trying to think of a way to fix what he said.

"It's out there, Oliver. Learn from my mistakes and get used to it." He shook his head with a smile and she placed one hand against his chest and wrapped an arm around his neck, her fingers playing with the hair at his nape.

"I was serious you know," he said sincerely.

She tilted her head. "You've never danced with anyone before?"

"Never," he replied, his blue eyes burning into hers.

"Thank you for waiting."

"I'd wait forever as long as I got you in the end."

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and marveled at the fact she was free to do so now.

He'd been her first kiss, her first dance, her first love so when she asked him the next question she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was the one she wanted to give it to.

"Be my first date?" She asked softly.

"Oh baby I'll be your last," he said with a huge smile before capturing her lips once again.

Who said there weren't happily ever afters in high school?

But then again...they were the exception.


	11. Kissing The Sunlight

_'Time passes too quickly.'_

People said it all the time but she hadn't quite gotten the meaning until this moment.

Where had the time gone? She felt like just yesterday she was in kindergarten and her biggest worry was if Tommy was going to steal her favorite color crayon. Now she worried about college, leaving home...and leaving him. Ever since the dance they had been inseparable. Oliver was like a new person. He smiled all the time and she rarely saw a bad mood and when she did it was usually due to his parents. He'd been the perfect boyfriend and just the thought of leaving him made her feel sick. If they were anyone else she'd say it was best to move on, meet new people...but they weren't. She and Oliver weren't just the normal high school relationship. They were that one in a million pair that weren't to be together forever, to grow and change with each other for the rest of their lives. It just so happened that they would be doing that seven hundred miles away from each other.

She was logical, she knew how it looked. How was it even possible to stay connected across time and distance?

When she'd voiced that thought to Oliver he had pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead saying they were going to be okay. Thing was she didn't want to be okay, she wanted to be with him. But she knew it wasn't possible. He had gotten into four colleges, all of which were sadly far away from her and had yet to choose which one he wanted to attend. He had even applied for Starling University. She had wanted to question him about that choice but chose not to. She didn't want to be that pushy girlfriend so she just told him she would support him no matter his choice. Though she did urge him to make a decision soon but every time she mentioned school he would tense up and say he didn't want to spend the rest of their time together worrying about being apart and that it would all work out. She however wasn't so sure.

The days passed quickly and soon the day she feared and longed for was upon them. Graduation.

She looked into the mirror and took a deep breath, her reflection looking back at her. She had chosen, with the help of Sara and Thea a red lace dress with a mesh neckline and a heart shaped bodice to go under her graduation gown. She let out a long sigh at the thought of Sara and Thea. She would be leaving them behind too. How much loss could one person take and who ever said growing up was fun?

Her eyes fluttered closed and she tried to remember all the wonderful memories she had shared with her favorite people. It wasn't goodbye, she reminded herself. It was just 'see you later'. She slipped on her graduation gown and left it hanging open. She forced a smiled as she glanced at herself in the mirror for a final time. This was supposed to be a happy day...not one filled with sadness.

Grabbing her graduation cap off her desk she noticed Oliver was standing at his window. He smiled at her and pointed to the driveway, she nodded and rushed down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Her mom called as she rushed by her room, where she was getting ready.

"I gotta talk to Oliver for a minute," she called in return as she descended the stairs and went out the front door. He was waiting on his side of the fence. His eyes darkened when he saw her and he hopped the fence and pulled her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly.

"You look beautiful," he whispered when he finally pulled away, but only a few inches.

"Well I was going to ask you if I looked alright. Guess that answers that question."

He chuckled before giving her a peck on the lips. "You're perfect...but you're missing something."

She tilted her head and when she saw what he pulled out of his pocket her mouth dropped open. So that was where they'd gone.

"Where did you find them?"

"I kinda...took them," he said sheepishly, a blush appearing on his cheeks. "Creepy, I know and I'm-" She cut him off with another kiss, this time deeper. Her arms looped around his neck and his fingers threaded through her hair. They were both breathless when they finally pulled apart. He smiled at her before opening the frames and setting the glasses gently on her face. He settled his hands on her waist, his fingers linking together against her back."You didn't look like you without them."

She put a palm on his cheek and he leaned into it. "Thank you."

His forehead creased. "For what?"

"For loving me for me."

"I should be the one saying that. You're easy to love Felicity."

"Not always."

"I love you Felicity...even when your stubborn. I actually think it's why you've had me since the beginning."

She laughed. "Why? Because I didn't go along with every crazy plan you and Tommy had?"

"Because you stood up to us. We would've gotten into a lot more trouble if you hadn't been there to talk us out of our schemes." His eyes glazed over and he smiled. "You were so cute then, with you little pig tails and frilly dresses."

"So...I'm not cute now?" She teased.

"Oh you're most definitely cute now. Some may even saying 'Smoakin Hot'" She groaned and he laughed. "Sorry, had to do it."

"I'll let you have it, but only today."

"I've gotta use it while I can," he smirked.

"Hmm... and why's that?"

"Cause one day you won't be a Smoak anymore." She stilled for a moment and his thumbed moved to stroke her cheek. "Just thought I'd let you in on some on my plans."

"It's a very good plan," she agreed, her hand roving over his back.

"Yeah?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah, just so you know I'm not really a hyphenate kind of person."

"Perfectly fine with me. I want you to be all mine."

"I'm already yours. Always have been." He pressed a kiss to her temple and she sighed, this time for a much better reason. "Just don't make me wait too long." She felt him shake his head as his chin rested on the top of her head.

"I waited our whole lives. Trust me when I say it won't be any longer than absolutely necessary."

"Is that a promise?" She spoke against the skin on his neck."

"I promise."

"Aww you two are just so sweet!" Her mom squealed from nearby. "Photo time!"

"Mom-" She whined and Oliver squeezed her side.

"This is memories for her...and us," he told her in a hushed tone.

"You're right," she acquiesce before groaning. "Don't get used to that."

"Wouldn't think of it," he said before turning to her Mom's camera with a beaming smile.

It was a start of an amazing day...one that would be remembered for a very long time.

* * *

He couldn't wait to tell her so much so he expected it to burst forth any moment.

But he wanted it to be a surprise so he stayed silent by sheer force of will. It had taken a lot of arguments but he had finally taken Tommy's advice and stood up to his father. Much to his shock his Dad had been of him for it.

 _'I'll make you proud Dad,'_ he'd told him. His Dad had held his hand out and grasped his. _'You already have son,'_ he'd replied.

For the first time in years his Dad had smiled at him. Just having Felicity in his life had changed him but his father words. Well they filled a place in him that only a parents approval could do.

He wasn't in the habit of keeping anything from Felicity, quite the opposite actually but he had t wait until just the right moment to tell her. That was the only reason he kept silent. Felicity noticed, of course she did but eventually she let it go and they enjoyed just being together. He didn't believe it possible but over those past couple months he had fallen in love with her even more. He couldn't hardly imagine where they'd be in a few years but the one thing he knew was that they would be together. That was enough for him.

He was lost in the memories when the ceremony started. He sat up straighter and looked behind him a few rows to see Felicity grinning from ear to ear. His heart near just burst at the sight. She raised her eyebrows in a sign of nervousness and he winked at her before turning back around.

Before he knew it his name was being called and he walked across he stage and took his diploma from Principle Steele. He could hear screaming from the crowd and quickly identified the chorus of voices as Tommy, Thea and Sara. He looked into the sea of red and immediately found Felicity who was blinking rapidly and holding her folded hands against her mouth, but he could see that a smile was splitting her face. Then he did something really cheesy, something he'd never, ever do for anybody but her. He put his hand to his lips and threw her a kiss. She threw her head back and laughed as a collective aww when through the mass of people. Yeah...he was whipped and one hundred percent completely fine with it.

Who knew that telling a girl that she was a Duff would lead to all this. He'd always regret how they'd started off but he would never regret the results.

He took his seat again and when he turned to look at her she was shaking her head at him. 'What am I doing to do with you?' she mouthed. He held up his left hand and pointed to his ring finger before mouthing 'I have a few idea's,' back while wiggling his eyebrows. Her lips parted and he got caught in her blue eyes for what seemed like forever before someone next to her started patting her on the shoulder. She tore her gaze from him and listened to whatever it was the girl was telling her, when she did she shot up and took off down the aisle. Apparently they'd been in the bubble and she hadn't heard them call her name. He'd take the blame for that one but it was pretty equal.

When she walked across the stage whoops and hollers came from all around. Felicity had become increasingly popular after her Homecoming article. She'd taken change and write some of her experience out for students to read. Instead of ridicule her they had connected to her words. Soon the whole school knew who Felicity was and it wasn't because she was the Oliver Queen's girlfriend or because she was the geek who'd been humiliated...it was because she was just herself. A Duff as she wrote it in her article, he knew now she was anything.

He joined the myriad of voices to cheer Felicity on as she climbed the stairs to the stage. She smiled at him before she took her diploma and paused to take in the multitude of people. He knew this was a big moment for her.

"It's just the beginning Felicity," he murmured knowing she couldn't hear him but hoping that she understood on her own. Finally she hustled off the stage and back to her seat, her cheeks red from all the calls of her classmates and friends. He distinctly heard Donna somewhere screaming something he thought sounded like 'my beautiful girl'

Not long after the ceremony was coming to a close, the Valedictorian saying his final words but he didn't wait for him to finish as he started working his way down the aisle and out of the throng of classmates who had all stood up during the speech. Felicity had followed his progression and when he reached her she looked at him in confusion.

"Oliver what are you doing?" Another student moved out of his way and he was able to approach her.

"I have to tell you something," he told her, not caring if he had an audience.

"Now?" She asked incredulously and he took her hands. She looked at him closely and nodded a moment later.

"Felicity...I've always let other people make my decisions for me, my whole life...until you came along and made me question that. When given the chance I've never been good at making choices but you? You were the best choice I've ever made." She laced her fingers with his and he held on tighter. "You've given me a reason to fight. To change for the better. You've inspired me and I love...I love you so much," he choked a little and a tear slipped down her cheek. He quickly wiped it away. "You told me once that love requires compromise. I'm ready for that now...because of you."

"Oliver...what are you saying?" She questioned, her eyes clouding with confusion. He thought about how months before she had found his letter of acceptance into Starling University. Back then he'd yet to confront his Dad so he'd applied just to have a point to make when he did. Felicity knew he wanted to play football and SCU had one of the top teams in the country so she had automatically assumed that was where he'd go.

"I'm not going to Starling University...I want to be with you." He took a deep breath. "I'm going to Harvard."

Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. "But...but that's in Cambridge."

"It is."

"Like ten minutes away from MIT," she continued before her blue eye stared up into his and her tiny hands took a fistful's of his gown. "We're going to be together," she whispered and he'd be man enough to admit his eyes may have teared up...a little. "What about football?" She asked suddenly.

"I compromised...business school and football."

"You got on the Harvard team?"

"I got a try out. It's in a few weeks."

She smiled larger than he'd seen all night. "I love you."

He didn't have time to reply before he had armful of blonde. Her lips found his and he got lost. He heard a muted shout when the ceremony commenced and the class threw threw their caps in the air but he dare not pull away. Instead he wrapped her into his arms and pulled her a little closer as the hats rained down on them. It didn't matter that half of Starling City, their parents and their friends were watching because in that moment it was just the two of them.

"I love you," he replied when they had pulled away.

"I'm the luckiest Duff in the world."

"You're my Duff." She smacked his chest and he laughed as he took the cap off her head.

"What are you doing?"

"We've got to have the whole high school experience," he explained as he took off his hat and handed it to her. She glanced down at the red square in her hands. "You've have to throw it."

So they did...and then spent a half an hour looking for their hats. But they laughed the whole time. When they both found them Felicity rose on her tiptoes and settled his back on his head, pushing the tassel away from his face.

"We're going to have a great life together aren't we?" He asked as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah...yeah we are."

* * *

Two weeks later found them in Boston so Oliver could try out for the Harvard Football team. She cheered him and it was three weeks before he found out he'd been drafted onto their team. Two months after that they moved cross country. Soon school started and they got pulled into the world of college but not away from each other. They both chose to spend their holidays and summers in Starling with their friends and family before returning to Boston in the fall.

Oliver's football career was successful and he flourished in his business program but soon found the activity taxing. Every available moment was spent together through the next two years and when they both graduated they found internships in the same city. Oliver still enjoyed football, he even found a group of guys he played with in the park on weekends but it became a hobby and less of a sport as time passed.

The next two years they learned more and grew closer. She even decided she wanted to take a few more college courses and became one of the best Computer Scientist in America and in Oliver's non biased opinion, the world. She had her pick of Company's to start her career, they were all vying for her attention. But when Robert Queen offered her the position of Head of the Applied Science Division it hadn't taken any begging on his part as she accepted by the end of the phone call.

By the time they moved back to Starling they were both ready to start their careers. Oliver worked in the top of the Queen Consolidated high rise and she had a office right across from him. There was hardly a minute they didn't spend together.

One year later Oliver kept his promise and got down on one knee. He hadn't even asked the question or opened the ring box before she had launched herself into his arms with a cry of 'yes!' Oliver had laughed and told her that he'd couldn't wait another second before kissing her like there wasn't a tomorrow. It was only six months later when they tied the knot because neither of them were a fan of long engagements.

A month after their wedding they bought a house right next to Tommy's and his wife...Laurel. Tommy had gone to UCLA and graduated top of his class but he'd wanted to come home. He started working in his father's company and even coached a local boys football program. Much to everyone's surprise Laurel had come too and she wasn't as expected. She'd attended law school and had become a new person. She'd even apologized for all the things she'd done to everyone. Felicity had been hesitant to forgive her at first but Laurel really had changed and she'd welcomed her into the family with open arms. So when she'd accepted Laurel Tommy had came around...and that was the start of the Merlyn family.

Two more years passed in a flurry of activity. Both of their lives were crazy busy and they wouldn't have it any other way...but something was missing. It was only when Oliver started looking longingly at families with children that she noticed what it was. So one night when he'd come home from work she'd been waiting by the door, her leg jiggling nervously. When the door finally opened and he came in, a haggard expression gracing her features she wondered if that night was really the time to bring up the subject. But of course he noticed her nervousness and immediately went on alert.

"Felicity's what's wrong?" He asked alarmed.

"Well you've had a long day so..." she trailed off and he came forward and ran his palms down her arm in a soothing gesture.

"Tell me," he pleaded.

"Our life is perfect, we have everything we could ever want...or need. But there's something that's missing and I'm really hoping that you think so too because otherwise this conversation would just be awkward and I-"

"Felicity, breathe," he said a small smile. She swallowed before pulling the pink pill dispenser out of her back pocket. He glanced down for a moment and when he recognized what it was his eyes snapped to hers. "You want to have a baby?"

She nodded. "I do, maybe like five of them. Only one at a time of course but I understand if you want to wait-"

He cut her off her babble with a kiss before pulling back and breathing. "I do too," against her lips. His eyes a light shade of blue and brimming with joy.

She sighed. "I'm so happy."

"Me too."

"So when do you want to-" He cut off her words when he grabbed the dispenser from her hand and tossed it in the trash can by the door. She yelped when he swept her into his arms and started carrying her presumably to their bedroom. "Now? You know the birth control will take a while to get out of my system."

"Practice makes perfect." He winked and she just about melted. She remembered the day he had first kissed her and had said those exact same words.

"Oh, I see what you did there." He tossed her on the bed playfully and she squealed in equal delight and humor. He tugged her tank top off and it didn't take too long to lose the meaning of words completely.

That night was the beginning of something...well two things actually. They both decided they wanted a family...and they started one.

Nine months later their first child Novalee Dearden Queen was born.

The young Queen who everyone had taken to calling Nova had love coming from every direction, a mother who doted on her and a father who couldn't get enough time with her. She was spoiled absolutely rotten by her Grandparents, her Aunt Thea, Uncle Roy, Tommy, Laurel and her Godmother Sara. they'd even grown closer with Diggle and Lyla over the years and they'd joined their family unit. With so many people around Nova never wanted for attention, even when her brother came along two years later and again a sister a few years after. She proved to be the best big sister ever.

Five years down the line one day she noticed her eldest daughter was missing at their family cookout. When she searched for her and found her she couldn't help but smile. Nova with her bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes was being teased by Zachary Diggle. The two had formed a close bond much like her's and Oliver's at their age and Felicity couldn't have been happier for it. A set of arms wrapped around her and she leaned back into them. How had she gotten so lucky?

"And it begins again," he whispered into her ear.

"Let's hope it doesn't take him as long to realize what's right in front of him," she smirked and he pressed a kiss to her neck.

"I'm completely fine with it taking longer." She laughed. "I want to keep my girls as long as possible. Is that a crime?"

She turned in his arms. "No, not at all," she grinned and he tilted his head.

"You have that gleam in your eye, that one you get when you're really happy."

"Is that a crime?" She parroted, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He chuckled. "No, but I've known you long enough to know it's something more than just normal happiness." She smiled cheekily. "Come on, tell me."

She glanced at her children playing under the watchful eyes of family various places in the yard. "You know how I said I might want five and you agreed?" He nodded. "Do you still feel that way?"

His lips parted. "Felicity are you?"

"Working on number four?" She nodded and before she knew it she was being lifted and twirled before he sat her down gently and kissed her soundly. It still made her spine tingle even after all these years.

Their family noticed the commotion and came running. Oliver made the announcement claiming he was too excited to hold it in. The bi-weekly family barbecue turned into a celebration then. Oliver didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night. Nova expressed excitement at adding another member to the family. Her two other children however said that they just wanted somebody else to play with, they didn't care how they got him or her. She and Oliver had just laughed at that.

And later as she'd watched her family all interact, smiles on their faces she thought about how amazing her life was...and it was all because the boy next door had kissed her and called her a Duff.

Oh but she wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

-This Heart Of Mine-

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